Last night was the Decolonized Beatz event for the students showing their videos. It went well, great videos, the students had some good things to say. A few tech issues but overall I’m happy the event managed to occur.
Last week I did the Trans Piss Project FINALLY after talking/thinking about it for a year. So that was one project I was working on for a while and just had to wait for the 3D prints/jar/urine/camera/foamcore all to align. And it finally did and now it’s out there.
The third thing was the first thing I finished last week, the current draft of my script for macîskotêw (Evil Fire). It’s taken some twists and turns. I think the consultations with family members of MMIP and the former police officer were the most helpful for pushing it to a better place. I think we’re trying for production funds next year, so we’ll see how it goes. It’s been worked on on and off for ten years which is a long time. But also it’s a super ambitious project for a first feature so I guess I can see why it’s taken so long to get here. I also did learn a lot about myself as a scriptwriter this past decade.
So that’s three major projects wrapped up (for now, in the case of the script, which obviously has further places to go before it’s a film).
I am still working on:
1 script
1 webseries
2 short films
1 video game
1 documentary trilogy
1 podcast
So those are all in the queue. I really just work on things as soon as I get a breakthrough on them which sort of fuels finishing it. But sometimes I have to force a breakthrough which can be awkward. I find going for walks helps me think. A lot of my projects can be finished with my own gear, which is good. Some has funding attached which is helpful, including my short film POOR I want to make this summer/fall. Some of them are partially done and just need the last push. But the script and the short films are probably higher priority this summer so I can get final reports in.
I am doing well on guitar practice! Having the telecaster has sort of reinvigorated my desire to practice. I was working on Come As You Are by Nirvana and I’m doing pretty good on most parts except for the solo nearer to the end. I am learning to go from A chord to C chord. I got the riff down pretty good and in two places on my guitar. I also take out the acoustic still and play it too. I’m enjoying playing with both of them.
I’m still not performing in front of anyone except for my teacher and my therapist (and my friend Riki saw me practice). I know I have to perform in front of people but I’m nervous. Which doesn’t make sense, I’ve literally been naked in front of audiences while doing performance art. But music is a different kind of naked!
But also getting over this barrier was one of the reason I decided to start playing guitar. So logically I should perform in front of people.
But also! I feel I’m not ready yet because I don’t know how to sing and play at the same time yet. I just switch to going down up down up when the strumming patterns are different. It’s just something I have to work at. I could play without singing but ehhh that’s not totally what I want to do.
I feel really constrained when it comes to singing. I had a friend named Carla-Marie Powers who was a singer and she said anyone could learn to sing. Which was nice to hear but I still felt ashamed of singing because of how I was raised. So I never really practiced. I sing songs to the dogs all the time, but dog songs are different. Maybe I need to sing some Nirvana to the dogs. Or Four Non Blondes. Or the Cranberries, although I have to admit the BPM on Zombie is still too fast for me.
BUT ALSO my voice has changed on testosterone and I’ve never really explored it in singing. It’s measuring at a baritone.
But also, I think it’s fine if it takes me a while to prepare before I decide to perform in front of people.
Anyway I’m really happy that three projects have wrapped up. It’s been a lot of work, and now there’s space in the immediate future to work on other things.
Here’s a clip of me playing and talking about my new name for my guitar! I don’t like the way the backend looks of this embed code ha ha geez.