I’m starting singing lessons on Monday after waffling for a long time about it. It’s not super expensive and they are short lessons. And I can quit whenever. So that’s exciting, I hope I like my instructor. I picked a dude because I have a dude voice. So we’ll see how it goes. I’m so nervous about singing it’s this major block I have because of how I was raised. Like music was a shameful thing, ESPECIALLY singing! So I never really got to explore my singing voice because of my own internal blocks around it. I sometimes wonder if colonization has anything to do with why my family was against singing. Like maybe because our ceremonies and stuff were outlawed? I don’t know, all I know is I have this internal barrier against singing that I want to crack. PLUS it would improve my guitar playing because it’s easier to tell where you are in a song if you’re singing it. And I’m not sure I want to be a musician except I guess I am now ha ha. But I guess I feel like a baby still musician wise. Maybe in a year I would want to play with people, like jamming. Two musician friends who have seen my videos of me playing say I’m pretty good. Which is encouraging even tho I just see all the errors still.

BUT I don’t know if I wrote about this here, but I’ve had a real explosion of creative ideas over this last year and I am starting to think that learning music opened up a creative channel. Like deeply emotionally impactful stories are just hitting and coming out of the woodwork and old stories are merging with new stories and becoming something much more interesting. It’s been really nice to see this internal renaissance of creativity just because I started learning an instrument.

Also I’ve noticed that I have a different experience with music now because I have a physical connection to it, while before it was more disembodied. It’s cool to realize that and not something I really anticipated.

I’m doing good otherwise! Completed a work thing today so now I can move on to other things. I have to work on a feature script that is VERY MUCH bumped to the back of the line over and over but I have to put it first on Monday. I got a grant for it and I know when I write it it won’t take so long. I know a lot more about scriptwriting than I used to, it doesn’t take soooooo long to write. But damn I just need a draft so I can get the final report in, it’s so delayed!

Dogs are arguing with each other next to me. Sigh.

I’m concerned by how many people are using Generative AI. There’s people telling them all their deepest secrets and getting pushed towards harmful delusions and ChatGPT psychosis. Also people are losing cognitive ability by letting ChatGPT write all their stuff. I’m honestly concerned we are going to have a generation of people who go through school and come out completely uneducated because they let ChatGPT write all their papers. I’m also worried about talking to people online who are using chatgpt to talk to me and not actually writing it themselves. I will never use AI like that. All my bad ideas and errors are my own.