The break is nearly over and my jobs are starting. So that’s cool. I’ve still got to do some things to make sure it’s sorted out. I think my rubrics need more detailed marks so I’m going to work on that tomorrow. I am starting one class next week and then the second class starts the week after. So that is going to be fun.

I spent today working on music stuff. I am learning the riff for All Apologies and I’ve been using my telecaster again which was in it’s case all fall. But I am remembering why I loved that telecaster. It has a really cool tone. I also am rusty at it and I kept muting strings that weren’t supposed to be muted. I just need to practice a lot more because it’s so different. It was super slow early this afternoon but now I’ve got it kind of memorized so it sounds better and I can do it a bit faster. I still need to learn some easy songs though just so I can finally get to doing open mics. Which is a goal this year, to finally get my playing to be able to play in the back of a coffee shop or something.

I don’t know what kind of musician I want to be. I mean like I still don’t have an ambition attached to it. If I wanted to be a rock god at least I would know where I’m headed. But really I just want to make noises that make me happy. I read a while back that Tori Amos sees light creatures when she hears music because she has some kind of specific auditory synaesthesia. Which sounds so cool and I wonder how that influences the music she writes. Also it makes me wonder things like are those light creatures real and in some other dimension only Tori Amos can see? I’m so curious.

I’m trying to get used to playing in public and singing in public so I want to go to more karaoke nights and also maybe learn more full songs so I can be the obnoxious man in the corner playing Wonderwall ha ha. Maybe that’s way too dated now. What is the usual song the youth play at their parties? I never really went to parties where people took out a guitar and played a song. It’s so generous ha ha but yeah I think the closest I’ve gotten to a party like that was when I was little and me and the neighbourhood kids watched some guy play guitar on his porch. So wholesome ha ha. I don’t think he really wanted to play for the neighbourhood kids I have a feeling he was just playing on the porch.

I’m doing beading too and having a lot of sex which I actually had to take a time out because it was a bit crazy there during the break. I mean the sex, not the beading, the beading could get crazier, it still has room to flourish. I wish I was in love, I feel like sex would be like Tori Amos making those light creatures while she plays the piano. Instead of the cheap thrills it is now ha ha. I am ok on my own though I’m not complaining. I mostly have my needs met. I do need to go out more often though.

I promised myself this would be the year I go out more, but so far it’s just been going to the Apple Store which is not a social event. I feel like I have so much fun being creative by myself that sometimes I forget there is a wider world out there. Like why go deal with possibly difficult people when I can stay home writing or beading or singing or playing guitar? Or having sex? See the rewards of staying home are too high and I need to counter it by finding something equally rewarding with other people. I guess this is why people start bands and stuff. I don’t even know a concert coming up that excites me but maybe something will happen.