Have you ever noticed they don’t give military technology female names? Like there’s no Sacajawea Ballistic Missile or anything. I dunno. Is there some female named warhead? Like the Medusa 6000 or something? Probably not. Mother Mary Mines. Whatever Fatima’s third secret was, you can bet it’s not Tesla powered weaponry.
I hear they are attacking the Mandeans now, the last group of Gnostic Christians in the holy land. I don’t think it matters who they say is attacking the Mandeans, we both know it amounts to the same thing. What irony that a dictator like Saddam would be ruling a secular country where the last whiffs of Gnosticism exist, and now under the guise of liberation and strife, the Mandeans are being wiped off the face of the earth.
Gnostic Christianity was the oldest sect of Christianity to exist, before the Roman Empire declared itself holy. It had your name at the top in all the bright lights, Sophia, mother of Jehovah. But you got written out of the script, and everyone is waving from halfway up the ladder, with half an eye and half a heart and half a brain.
I know you can’t die though, ever, no matter how many people they destroy. We’re in the underworld, waiting for a glimmer of hope and shooting it every time it shows up.
I seem to be remembering older things than me. How unusual. And deeply ironic. Life’s just funny that way.
This is what we are going to do. We’re going to access some of the healing fund money from the Residential school settlement and build the first aboriginal run soteria house here in Saskatchewan. It will be an octagonal structure in a rural area with various places for people to hang out. It will have one room made JUST for destroying things for when people get into the first destructive aspect of psychosis. And there will be other areas too, a snoezelen room for people to just experience their senses, an art room with 24 hour access, a library/internet learning room, a place for people to learn languages, religion, art practices, whatever they want. No one specific truth will be imposed on the people who go there, it’s all about them and letting them become who they are even if/when they make mistakes on the way. And I’m not letting any “traditional” methods of healing take precendence, irregardless of what culture they come from, this uses everything that the person wants to explore. There isn’t any “wrong” way for people to go through there experience, the staff are there mainly in a serving capability, cooking and cleaning and guiding people away from self harm. And no fucking psychiatrists, they can bugger off. And I don’t know that I want the staff to only ever want to work in that job, I think it’s better as a job where people do it for a few years and move on to other things. And if someone working there is being abusive to the clients, they are fired immediately, no second chances.
And I also think that after the first one gets off the ground, we can start building other places across Canada, and maybe the world. I don’t intend for this idea to be owned by only one tribe or region. But there are specifications that I’m still working out. And people can come by and hang out and teach their own skills to people there if they want, but no frickin’ programming and no telling anyone that they’re bad or hopelessly fucked up.
Poem by Marion Sarain Stump
And there is my people sleeping since a long time but aren’t just dreams the old cars without engine parking in front of the house or angry words ordering peace of mind or who steals from you for your good and doesn’t wanna remember what he owes you sometimes I’d like to fall asleep too, close my eyes on everything but I can’t I can’t it’s with terror, sometimes that i hear them calling me but it’s the light skip of a cougar detaching me from the ground to leave me alone with my crazy power till I reach the sun makers and find myself again in a new place he goes away very far away without anybody on his tail teeth of snake, birds’s wings the shaman goes far away gotta be the best at the ball game and hunt something every time i go for a walk put together a few wise words in front of the elder ones all because she smiled at me and her father said he ain’t gonna give her to who’s not a man I heard them talking about her with love in their minds I have seen them start their dances to call her out great names I heard in the dark of the night but a name can’t steal the bear’s child to the homeless man nobody sews his mocassins all he had was a cedar flute who could guess that with that one he’d call her and she’d run to him? now he’s a bear and the little bears of spring call him ‘father’ I had to see her heart to have her had to see his heart to have him with a south horse I came at the scalp dance with two little bones I lost all I had and still I was rich then a cow right on top of the hill and it was all over seven men on the rock upon the house the deadman’s head is laughing at my mistakes lazy flyin’ of crows in the sky brings me away in a returnless run like red leaves carried by the autumn wind with an iron blade I was trying to write on rock hearts hoping to see them laugh hoping to see them cry I was mixing stars and sand in front of him but he couldn’t understand I was keeping the lightning of the thunder in my purse just in front of him but he couldn’t understand and I had been killed a thousand times right at his feet but he hadn’t understood little traces in my mind brought me back where I was born and there wasn’t any explanation just my back shook at the crying of my dying mother.
This is Absolutely Fabulous set to Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny by Lemon Demon, a very funny song to a very silly show. Yeh, brit comedies, yeh.
Oh yeah, I had the funniest thing in the mail, it was an invitation to a BDSM workshop called “Everything I Need to Know I Learnt in the Dungeon,” and some other workshops on corporal punishment and flogging. Too cute. I’d like to think I learned in other places though. As Margaret Cho’s mother says, you must have moderation otherwise it’s not special anymore.
Oh crap, I said I wasn’t going to look at the news and then I did. Bugger. Well, that’s okay, I’m still trying to deal with all of this on an internal level, but I was always talking politics anyway.
And if I don’t talk politics you’ll think something’s wrong with me!
Whatever. I actually am just trying to sort out my head, and it’s going well. I’m sleepy again, recharging which is nice. I like sleep. And hot baths. My dog tried to steal money from me again, and I have the photo evidence!! What a weird dog.
This is for my favorite cousin who has a titch of a Yvette Fielding thing going on but it’s cute.
Big Pharma is terrorizing scientists.
By the way, does anyone have a listing of who owns stock in the major Pharmaceutical companies? This might help shed light on this tricky situation. Note that this story is from 2000, this isn’t just coming to light now.
I just want to say one thing, which I won’t go into detail about right now, is that I think it’s time we move towards nonduality, which doesn’t mean “sameness” but does mean incorporating both “light” and “dark” aspects in a healthy way. I think any kind of Absolute can miss out on truth. For instance, something which is all light and doesn’t know anything about darkness can get hurt or mislead easily, it’s too trusting. And it’s the same with darkness, if it doesn’t know anything about light it can be really dumb. And I’m not talking about any particular race or gender or anything, I’m just talking about this in an abstract conceptual sense.
Once a friend of mine said to me “What is wrong with us? We want to prise up the rock and look underneath.”
It’s true though, I think sometimes you HAVE to look under the rock to see what’s going on over there, and if it has any relevance on what you’re doing over here, and if you’re doing the same thing even. And sometimes things under the rock aren’t so bad either, just different.
Being diagnosed manic depressive was fucked up, because no matter which way I went people pathologized it. If I was sad it was always “Oh no, she’ll kill herself” and if I was happy it was always “Oh crap, and now she’s going manic.” And the irony was that it sometimes seemed to be when I had an equilibrium that people got worried. Same with my race, and my gender, etc. Anytime someone says that something is pure or purity is good I get grossed out, whether it’s white supremacists or native activists or feminists or whoever. It denotes this idea of singularity which no one can ever achieve, or if they can I don’t want to know them. And I mean single AND separate/superior, not ideas of Oneness, which is really nonduality and something entirely different.
I don’t think our planet is evolving towards the triumph of good over evil, or vice versa. I think our planet is moving towards a unity between two poles, and a lot of other people think so as well. What that will look like I don’t know, and I’m not willing to hazard a guess either. I think it will eventually resolve issues of violence, since suddenly there won’t be any such thing as “sides.” There is no side. I don’t think it will be boring though. People will still be complex little creatures, we won’t be friggin’ pod people or anything. And I think we’ll still debate and disagree, but I don’t think it will be with the same vehemence, I think it will be more like learning. And ideas around power will change. Already a lot of intellectual/artistic type people are abandoning this corporate exchange in ideas, I think people should be paid for their work, but I also think there’s something insideous about trying to control information. I remember when everyone was happy, the internet was the Information Superhighway and we were going to have revolutionized lives. And now certain people are like “Fuck! The internet is a goddamn Information Superhighway and my kid’s been hitchhiking!” Lots of people are panicking because information is accessible in a way never before seen in human history. Look at porn laws, blogging laws being drafted, attempts to create geographical boundaries in Cyberspace, shutting down Napster and other P2P file sharing systems. Not all of it is about intellectual property laws.
I was reading in The Politics of Jesus that the main crucial difference between him and his followers was that he was literate, which was still a rare thing back then. I don’t think only literate people are worthwhile, but being fluent in ideas does give an advantage. Even cultures without writing systems had very advanced ideas being exchanged through oral storytelling, which is why eliminating Native languages was the number one priority of the colonizers. In other places this has been book burning, outlawing certain thoughts even as “treason.” The Patriot Act itself is a giant muzzle law, and here in Canada the residential school claimants are forced to sign a non-disclosure agreement and state that additional charges will not be brought against the government. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Bush has begun to institute “mental health screening” for every citizen.
In an interview for Medulla, Bjork said “You know, its ironic that just at the point the lawyers and the businessmen had calculated how to control music, the internet comes along and fucks everything up.” Bjork gives the finger again, this time waving it into the air. “God bless the internet,” she adds.
And what about you, then?
“I’ll still be there, waving a pirate flag.”