I’m doing laundry, I’ve had a good week. I did all the things I wanted to be doing this summer, so hopefully that continues. I had some sexy times. I played guitar a lot. I got a new amp for my telecaster so that I can learn more about playing it. I did a lot of work too. I’ve been emailing and doing video stuff and working on a rewrite of my script. I watched a zoom meeting I had with a consultant and it helped kickstart how I can do this ending differently but the same kind of. Like, there are major plot points changing. But ultimately it’s similar in tone.

Also did work on my unfunded book, but not as much as I hoped. I just really find when I focus on one creative thing, it’s difficult to switch to another quickly and then go back. Like I do like to hyper focus on projects when I’m doing them. But also there’s lots of other work to be doing. Anyway, I can kind of multitask, but when I’m thinking through something creatively I like to give it my full attention for those few hours of the day. But also I have a lot of projects on the go.

I also have to write ANOTHER script, and then I have to do a short film this summer. Which is going to be hard because everyone shoots in the summer. I could move it to the fall I guess, I need to put up a casting call anyway.

I’m wrapping up a longer project soon which is nice, I like how the work turned out. It’s my student’s work, so I’m really happy with what they’ve created and I hope they have an amazing screening. It’s in Washington DC though so I cannot go because of policies around trans people’s identification at the border. And I don’t want to be a trans man in some foreign prison. That sounds like the worst. And even if they just sent me straight back, they could still ban me from the United States forever. So just waiting and seeing how this all shifts and settles in the next 4-10 years or so. I mean who knows, maybe it will still be a bad idea to go in 2035.

I am kind of jealous when I see cis people cross the border so easily and not be worried. I mean maybe they are worried, but just the fact that they feel they even can cross the border is depressing for me who knows I can’t. I do like stuff in the United States, not enough to live there, but like I do have friends down there and stuff. It’s hard to accept sometimes that there are countries I can’t go to ever because of my gender and sexuality. I kind of just thought oh well. But now one is the downstairs neighbour. So that sucks.

Sorry, neighbor.

Ha ha.

I did have a good week though! I was very busy with work stuff and sexy stuff and guitar stuff. And I got to play with my acoustic guitar in therapy which was super fun. I wasn’t playing my therapist full songs, just little bits here and there. What I found really interesting was that sometimes while talking to her with my guitar I felt protected, and other times I felt vulnerable. And I was able to make more sustained eye contact I think. Which was cool and makes me wonder what kind of performer I would be in front of people.

People are always asking me how I can make such vulnerable work and it’s like I don’t know it just happens, do you know how to stop it? Ha ha ha.

Anyway the dog was being cute and I was talking to him and told him he was a good girl, because I was petting Posey just before. And then I was like oh Todd! I misgendered you! They are both the same shape of dog, sometimes I get confused in the dark. Although Posey has more coarse fur and he still has baby soft fur.

I went back to the gym today too! I started out light. It’s been ok! I just really liked getting a muscley body last year and while I was a professor/artist in residence at Western and traveling two days out of the week I didn’t have time or energy to work out. But now I do have energy for it!

Also I am a Queer/Trans artist in residence at the Mark S. Bonham Centre for Sexual Diversity Studies at U of T 2025-2026. Which will be exciting! I am working on the trans climate migrant doc while I am there, so hopefully it’s a really good experience. I will have an office. And I can actually just get there on the ttc, not ttc/uber/via rail/uber to get there. I will have so much more time when the commute is gone. So I’m hoping to get ahead on a few things. I’m still working on multiple projects ha ha I don’t know how I got here, but I can see some stuff wrapping up.