I don’t know how to update my wikipedia but I wish I could. I don’t go by TJ Cuthand, that’s just my website url because it’s shorter and I’m not paying to change it again. My name is Theo Jean Cuthand, or Theo Cuthand, but not TJ Cuthand. TJ Cuthand was my baby trans name while I was trying to figure out what I wanted to change my name to before choosing Theo. So PLEASE do NOT call me TJ Cuthand, it’s Theo Cuthand, or Theo Jean Cuthand if you want to use my whole name because I’m in trouble or whatever ha ha.

Mostly I’m writing this here so some eager Wikipedia editor will change it some day.

I’m tired! I wrote like two paragraphs about my sex life this weekend but deleted it since I’m trying to be professional.

Aww no fun.

I tried making another water pie last night, but I forgot the butter until halfway through baking and by then it was too late to properly mix, so it’s not setting the way it should and just tastes like sugar and water and spices. Disappointing. I did put butter in it but it didn’t absorb I guess.

I am realizing I need to ask for what I want in life. Mostly I was thinking about it in bed because things there have been disappointing. BUT ALSO in other places, like life in general. I feel like sometimes I just get frustrated and then I wonder if I am letting people know what I need or not. Especially since I’ve finally started getting teaching gigs and I think before I was applying but not talking to people as much about wanting work. Anyway I have two syllabi to make this week, one is mostly done but I need to finalize it today or tomorrow, the other one isn’t as urgent. I did get the list of all the films and readings I want to use to the library people though, so that’s one plus. I still need to decide on the papers/exams and how the marks get weighed for that class.

And my kitchen is a mess! I broke a glass in the sink and took out the bigger pieces then was like “I gotta remember to wipe that out,” and then all these other dishes got put in. So I have to take everything out and carefully wipe the bottom and then wash the dishes. BUT ALSO I spilled rice on the rack and tea cloth I use to dry the dishes and that is just intimidating me about cleaning up because if I don’t do it right, rice is going to get everywhere. BUT it’s got to get cleaned or the mice will be back. And in the meantime whenever I have coffee in the morning I have to use that space too. Either way, it’s LAYERS of procrastination that has now put my kitchen in the state it is in.

So boring and sad ha ha.

I guess it’s laundry day and singing day. Red Leather Yellow Leather!

OH I never talked about my guitar recital! Well yeah, that was on Saturday and it went pretty well. I felt a little off because I’m not used to hearing my acoustic when it’s plugged in. BUT I did the song, I didn’t forget anything except the last note I did a C instead of a G. Ha ha but I did skip some strings and stuff a few times, BUT overall despite my nerves I did enjoy myself. I want to do another one! I also did singing with it and I don’t know if it was good or bad but that wasn’t the part I felt awkward about.

Which is so cool because I really only started singing in August went I went to classes. Like I really DID NOT SING at all before, I was so intimidated by singing. I would sing songs to the dogs, or when I was a kid I did low stakes choral. But nothing like singing alone in front of people. So that was really cool that I could do it and not feel nervous. It was the strumming that made me nervous.

I think I want to do it again because I think I could improve. A different song next time though maybe.

Anyway that’s the round up for today. I gotta gather some laundry, and deal with my kitchen, and my syllabi!