Sassytoon

Well, here I am! I’m sure you’ve been wondering if I would ever write in here again, and so here it is! I’ve had about a month of massive changes going on in my life, including leaving Vancouver for Saskatoon, where I now work at paved Art + New Media as the Production Coordinator, so if you’re in Saskatoon and you’re making media art, you’ll probably be dealing with me.

I got dreadfully ill just after new years and was pretty much housebound for over a week, while also assessing the immense mess of my home and trying to figure out how to pack it all up. It was a bit of a nightmare. Thank god packing and moving is over, now I just have to find a reasonably priced one bedroom which will let me have a weiner dog, and unpack all my stuff which is enroute.

I’ve been pretty busy here since I got back, in addition to starting my new job. There seems to be a lot going on here, which in some ways is good. But in other ways, I dunno, I am a bit of a hermit. Which is why living with my mom and cousin right now is a bit stressful, I like having time to be alone, to not feel so weird or pressured to perform. I value my down time. I’ve heard it said that writers and thinkers need a lot of leisure time compared to other people, and that it is in fact a part of the creative process. That is definately true in my case. I’ve even been told that I’m lazy and unmotivated and hate to work (which trust me, is not true). But the fact is, I need alone time to listen to music and gather information on the world and have conversations in my head between fictional characters who may or may not ever see the light of day. It is work.

Tonight I’m off to an opening, but god, it feels like I’ve been busy ever since I got here, and all I really want to do is have a night of slacking off. Just watching television, eating ice cream, and chatting on the phone to various long distance friends. dfffffffff cat did it. Now here’s curling up on my shoulders. I have to go pet him.

See, no slacker time for me!

Saskatchewan Scrotums

The scotum is probably one of the funnier looking parts of the human body. Which is why seeing a pair dangling from a trailer hitch on the car in front of us made my mom and I crack up. Why was it there? Apparently Tiger Automotive has them, balls for men’s cars who want to be manly. There were no labia though.

Scrotums for your car. What is the world coming to? Do you remember Neuticals, the silicone testicular implants that would make your boy dog have balls even after being neutered?

Well, aside from that, it’s nice here in Saskatchewan. Not too terribly cold. Getting busy for some family parties. I don’t even know when to expect the guests, but I’ve been tidying while Mom went to the doctors. I should really get back to that.

I’m buying someone balls for Christmas, I think she wants some.

Profanity Report

So I’m in Saskatchewan, where I may be moving. There may be a pretty juicy job here for me, and my family, and some wacky great friends. It’s also my homeland. I think it’s time for me to see if I’ll feel different living in the place I really come from. As in, countless generations before me have survived here on the prairies.

But anyway, since I’ve been gone for a while from this blog, I thought I would update you on the feature. It’s still really rough, and two crucial scenes haven’t been written in yet. But I thought I’d give you all a taste of the script. Since I’m queer, all kinds of censoring things might happen during the making of Bunnyhug and it’s release. So I decided to post the current profanity report. It’s generated by Final Draft softwear, so I don’t know who decided what counts as profanity.

BUNNYHUG — STATISTICS REPORT

GENERAL STATISTICS

Number of words: 1833
Number of paragraphs: 251

PROFANITY
This profanity report should be used as a general guide to the profanity content of your script. Some of the items in this report may not be actual profanity and other real instances in your script may have been missed.

“Ass” (2 occurrences)
It appears on the following pages:
12, 76
It is spoken by the following characters:
ELLIE, NARRATOR

“Asshole” (4 occurrences)
It appears on the following pages:
24, 42, 60, 96
It is spoken by the following characters:
CASSANDRA, ELLIE, OLD QUAVERY LADY, RACHEL

“Bitch” (2 occurrences)
It appears on the following pages:
30, 108
It is spoken by the following characters:
JANET, MIRANDA

“Bullshit” (1 occurrences)
It appears on the following pages:
45
It is spoken by the following characters:
CASSANDRA

“Cock” (2 occurrences)
It appears on the following pages:
41, 95
It is spoken by the following characters:
ELLIE, SEXY FETISH LADY #1

“Crap” (1 occurrences)
It appears on the following pages:
24
It is spoken by the following characters:
CASSANDRA

“Damn” (2 occurrences)
It appears on the following pages:
76, 108
It is spoken by the following characters:
ELLIE, MIRANDA

“Dildo” (2 occurrences)
It appears on the following pages:
29, 78
“Fuck” (11 occurrences)
It appears on the following pages:
12, 13, 30, 31, 44, 73, 76, 92
It is spoken by the following characters:
ELLIE, JANET, MARY

“Fucked” (4 occurrences)
It appears on the following pages:
30, 52, 89, 98
It is spoken by the following characters:
ELLIE, JANET

“Fucker” (1 occurrences)
It appears on the following pages:
25
It is spoken by the following characters:
CASSANDRA

“Fucking” (10 occurrences)
It appears on the following pages:
17, 29, 31, 49, 71, 76, 84, 88, 98
It is spoken by the following characters:
CASSANDRA, ELLIE, JOHN, MIRANDA

“Piss” (1 occurrences)
It appears on the following pages:
77
It is spoken by the following characters:
ELLIE

“Shit” (5 occurrences)
It appears on the following pages:
11, 27, 42, 65, 86
It is spoken by the following characters:
DAMIEN, ELLIE, NARRATOR

“Tits” (1 occurrences)
It appears on the following pages:
11
It is spoken by the following characters:
JOHNNY

testing, testing . . . eins, zwei, drei

Traditions die hard

It is a common Vancouver tradition to light firecrackers and fireworks off every halloween. Bang, pops, and dreadful whirring noises have decended on the neighborhood. I must say, when I first moved here that drove me crazy. Vancouver loves it’s halloweens. Now I have come to regard the rather violent celebrations with fondness. I’m just glad this halloween I will not have to go to the hospital.

This coffee cake’s fumes are making me woozy.

Teabagged!

I teabagged myself last night, purely by accident. I was drinking the last dregs of chai and had the teabag wrapped around the handle. I was drinking when I saw the bag fly to my face, to hit me between the eyes with a warm wet slap. As the realization dawned on me that I had truly teabagged myself, I quickly began laughing and very nearly spewed my hot chai all over the place.

Happy Halloween!!!! I have the day off, which is saving me from seeing my coworkers dressed as zombies. It’s a grey day in Vancouver, hopefully it will stay dry so the kids can go get candy.

I’ve been having some fun, writing writing my script. Going to Halloween parties. Thinking about stuff. I think I’ve been a bit low, the change of seasons affects me, like most bipolars. Going to daylight savings time doesn’t help much either.

Shhh, don’t scare baby

The most disgusting thing I read recently is that Katie Holmes had to agree to have a “silent birth.” That means she can’t scream her head off or make any noise that implies pain. IT”S Å scientologist thing. Freaking shift key is sticky.

That’s just cruel to do to someone. Make them promise not to cry out during child birth.

I have one Werthers left.

Okay: the only reason I want breast implants. Within the next fifteen years you can get implants that are actually MP3 Players.

Madness is my friend

I have never gone surfing. Not once in my life. I was a prairie girl, where the hell would I surf? And the first time I swam naked in the ocean with a bunch of lesbians, I was so terrified of sinking into the deep depths that I didn’t even realize how sexy that whole escapade was until I wrote it here.

So I’m not really cut out for surfing. But I watch it and I imagine that surfing would feel a lot like riding madness. It’s scary, yet exciting, it’s sometimes dangerous, and there’s always the undertow.

I have been on a nearly lifelong journey to try and accept my madness. It’s difficult. It’s such a pervasive disability, and yet there can be long stretches of stability. And the creativity is addictive. Hypomania is just a hard thing to stop, because it feels so good. And let’s not forget the wanting to snuff it moments. I hate those.

I like that I can think in a different way than other people. It gives one an advantage sometimes. Sometimes it’s really a barrier.

Being manic feels like having every electrical appliance on in the house. Watching every channel at once. Fast urgent thoughts coming out like bumper cars, all crashing into each other. I think people are usually more scared of mania than depression, even very serious depression. People notice when I’m manic. People don’t notice when I’m depressed. Sometimes they even say I’m cheerful.

In some ways it feels bad ass, because you’re the pariahs of society. In some ways it sucks, because you’re the pariahs of society.

By the way, whenever comments are turned off from now on, it’s just because some jerk left a blogspam that I can’t erase.

“This is the sort of nonsense up with which I shall not put!”

I think sometimes my manic mind frusterates others. I sometimes talk slooow, sometimes fast, sometimes so ridiculously fast it all comes out as gibberish (although I know all the words), but that’s only on . . . extreme occasions. And I leap topics like nobody’s business. I operate on several channels all at once, and I love to toy with ideas and link them to other things.

The opening of this blog complete, I feel very sleepy. And overworked. I found a few things in my manic depressive websurfing that were somewhat interesting, although completely unrelated to each other.

For instance: A water balloon exploding in zero gravity.(with Videos!)

My mother hates it when I end a sentence with a preposition. She has a fit, a cow, kittens. It’s really the best way to get her mad without doing something you’ll feel guilty about later. But according to Wikipedia, sentences ending with prepositions may not be that bad.

This is my current favorite flash, Ptikobj. I like his other work as well, but I warn you, the rest of it is quite morbid and grotesque. “There is a dog trapped in my guitar!” Ha ha, classic.

Oooh, speaking of morbid, and considering Halloween is fast approaching, here is my all time favorite site for ghost stories, The Shadowlands, followed by Obiwan’s UFO Free Paranormal Page. Be sure to read the Black Eyed Kids and the one about the jello globs.

Someone was killed in my neighborhood, which troubles me, and they’re gay, which troubles me. I really don’t want to end my life in some alley getting my brains bashed in by some homophobic jock getting his jollies. And I imagine he didn’t either. It really makes you wonder about human nature, that one small difference in your identity makes you prey. Bleh.

And really, those were all the things I was thinking about today.

They’re back!

The mice ate my popcorn, nibbling away the nights. I am appalled. Popcorn is so important to my life. And now I am betrayed by rodents.