Law Office Drag Donations, Anyone?

Well, the job hunt continues. I did get a call from an employment agency looking to place someone as an office services clerk in a law office. It’s work I’ve done before, way, way, in the past, so I’m up to the job. However I don’t really have a wardrobe than lends itself well to a law office. It’s perfectly fine for a call centre, but eee, I don’t think jeans and a t-shirt will go over well in a law office, even though I have gotten away with it before.

Aside from that, I’m just surfing jobs sites and then taking breaks to look up mini dachshunds, like this little fellow down in Washington, or his even more handsome brother. Just coveting puppies. I think either or them would be perfect for me, and oh so cute.

People have been acting pretty funny about my wanting a dog at the end of the summer. Some people are really happy about it, and then others get all grumbly and parental about the whole thing in this really ageist way that flies up my nose.

27 and I’m still dealing with ageism. I guess ageism is always there, it just changes. Whatever. Fuck you ageism!

Stef if you are reading this and it’s still Wednesday night, call me.

Tomorrow night Fit of Pique: The Zine will be showing at the Helen Pitt, along with many other zines made by emily carr students and others! It’s at 102-148 Alexander, 7:30 pm. Do come and flirt with me. And buy my zine.

My one regret about quitting smoking is I never did learn how to blow a smoke ring.

Thirteen days smoke free, and I am very very proud of myself.

Freak.

Today I had a massive nicotine crave and went for a walk to chill out. As I was walking along I came to a part of the sidewalk that had bushes on one side of it and a fence on the other. And there was one of THOSE sprinklers. You surely know the kind I mean, lean jets of water shooting out in a staccato like an AK-47 gone awry. It was “Shook! Shook! Shook!” coming at me, and there was nothing I could do but run as if my very soul depended on it. So I RAN! And then I stopped just as abruptly, because of course a sprinkler doesn’t travel that far.

So I continued on my walk and saw this lanky figure coming towards me with a big bag of laundry on her back, sunglasses, and a straw cowboy hat. Her hair was coming out every which way, and I thought “What a freak.”

I get closer and it’s my ex girlfriend.

“Were you running from that sprinkler?” she asks me, sort of laughing at me.

“Yeah.”

“I didn’t see it until now, I thought you were just another freak in the neighborhood.”

Another task accomplished

I’ve finally submitted my final write up of the videos I’ve curated for this year’s Out On Screen. It’s the Aboriginal Queer program, a really difficult theme to program because there really are so few aboriginals making openly queer work. It means you have to be a little more lenient about content, because not everyone’s making videos that scream “I’m a big queer native pervert.” Except for me. Ha ha, no, there are queer aboriginal filmmakers, it’s just we’re in such short supply.

Either way, it looks like it’s going to be a really great program. It’s got a nice even mix of men and women, although there’s no trans voice in the mix, which sort of sucks. I guess I’m trans, but I’m not super ultra trans. I’m just transgender butch. Whatever.

But at last I no longer have to worry about what’s going into this year’s program. Now I can just concentrate on looking for a job. Yay. Much fun.

I’m totally wired and twitchy from too much coffee. I drank two cups and a can of coke and it’s only 1:43. When my friend Lynn gets off work we are headed to the beach. It’s perfect beach weather.

Sick

The other day I was hanging around with some folks when the most disturbing thing happened. I was talking with a friend about getting a dog, and how sometimes it takes a while to housebreak a puppy. I mean, I have raised two puppies in my life, I remember cleaning up poop. Anyway, this other guy just says “No no no. You can housebreak a puppy in three weeks, you just have to rub it’s nose in it’s shit.” And my friend is nodding, and they’re all being very “We’re older than you and know best.”

Ugh, I have never hated a fellow human so much. I did serious heavy duty research in how to raise and own a dog over years of my life, reading all the books, going to obedience class. And if there’s one thing I know is that it’s cruelty to animals to rub a puppy’s nose in shit. What you’re supposed to do is keep your eye on it and scoot it outside when it looks like it’s going to pee or poop. And be ridiculously vocal and happy when they do it outside. I mean, would you rub a babies face in it’s own shit to potty train it? No, and a baby doesn’t even have the same highly developed sense of smell that a puppy has.

So I was really mad last night. I really hope they don’t expect me to be like that when my new best friend comes home, whenever that is.

The endless saga of my Cell phone

The other day the antennae on my cell snapped right off in my hand.

“Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?”

‘What? Hello? Are you there?”

“I’m here, I’m here!”

“I can’t hear you at all.”

“Arg!”

I am phoneless. Again. I went to the store today to get a new phone, but the one I wanted was too expensive UNLESS Customer Service mailed it to me in 2 to 3 business days, in which case I could save 50 bucks. Why? Why why why? Does that make any kind of sense to you? I mean, there it was, right in the store, I could have just gotten it then. Instead they have to put it in a wrapper and put postage on it and mail it out to SAVE MONEY. Weird.

Besides that, my phone had gotten a bad habit of turning itself off at random moments.

My new phone is really cute, it’s a flippy one too, I like those better than non flippies.

Oh yeah, so I get home and call the toll free number to order it AND THEIR OFFICES ARE CLOSED! Yet their store downtown was open? Ugh, I hate Fido sometimes.

So basically, if you call me before wednesday, I will be able to hear you perfectly, but you will only hear fragments of me. It is sad.

Missing furry friends

The other night, when I couldn’t sleep, I started really missing Clive. It was the exact situation where he would run up to me and start licking my nose, being goofy and making me laugh. I’ve always had pets, I can’t imagine living without some sweet fuzzy thing to play with and take care of.

And then I started thinking about all the things I could do with a weiner dog, how it could sleep on my bed watching videos with me, where it’s food dish would be, how I could rub it’s wet little nose on my nose, going for walks, sharing ice cream. I was having a total dog owner fantasy, the likes of which I haven’t had since I was a kid, pestering my mother for two solid years to let me get a dog.

I was a persistent person. I’d read “Old Yeller” and “Where the Red Fern Grows” and something about boy adventures with their best furry pals made me yearn for a fellow of my own to romp with. Never mind that the dogs always died at the end of the stories. I mean, they weren’t rats, they wouldn’t die in three years. So I thought.

Either way, having a dog is more responsibility (and more fun!) than having a rat. And since my biological clock’s ticking, giving it an outlet by having a little puppy around to raise and teach good dog manners seems the best option.

But I still don’t have a job, eBay didn’t get back to me. My next application is at 1-800-U-Got-Junk. If I land the job I’ll be able to have a pup!

Puppy puppy puppy.

Never expected to feel like this

It’s day 6 of not smoking. While I’ve pissed out all the nicotine 3 days ago, I am still going through hell! I can’t sleep because suddenly my body’s getting twice the caffiene it normally gets. As a smoker I’m used to having a high tolerance for the stuff, but no more! I’m moody, I’m crabby, I have cravings and then ignore them. I’m breaking out in big zits all over my chin, and I’m coughing up phlegm. The whole things is pretty disgusting, and I feel like a crazy person. I guess I had never realized how toxic it was.

It’s horrendous agony and I don’t remember quitting the last time being so difficult. I almost had a smoke just so I’d get a decent sleep, instead of wrestling around with the duvet, getting a slick sheen of desperate sweat. Thrashing around and watching the sun come up.

But today I had to run for the bus, and I didn’t get out of breath.

A bottle of milk . . .

A loaf of bread, and a stick of butter.

I need a toaster.

Day four of not smoking. I am still having crappy sleep.

I should go to the store.

Stupid . . .

My fridge was broken. For as long as I have lived here the fridge has been broken. And on the dare of my mother I opened it today and took out three rotten things to throw away which had been sitting in there for some months. Like a block of cheese, which was brown and fuzzy.

And then later tonight I inspected the fridge after airing it out and finally found the on switch.

I’m currently trying to figure out how I can have lived this long without a fridge, and why I never noticed the switch before.

My shopping list tomorrow will include butter, juice, condiments, milk, fruit, vegetables, and other perishable items.

I’m excited.

Unfortunately, now my can opener is missing.

Stench, grime, paperwork, and dust

Cleaning this apartment has been a lot like embarking on an archaeological excavation. I haven’t found King Tut’s tomb, but I have found the detrius of several unfinished scripts and video ideas. Re-reading some of them has been terribly delightful, though not inspiring. I can see why most of them didn’t even make it to tape.

I’m also proud to say that I am three days without a cig! I’m so goofily happy about it. I can smell things, taste things, and I’m not so smelly. I’m more kissable too.

Of course I’m cranky as hell and whenever I’m trying to sleep I end up tossing and turning all night. But this will all pass, so they say. The cravings don’t bother me, I haven’t been tremendously triggered yet, but the insomnia is a pain in the butt.

I read today that clearing away the clutter in your home is a way to bring new things into your life. Soooooo, maybe I am finally after many years clearing some room for a girlfriend. Or dates anyway. I’m terribly excited to finally have this mess behind me.

And I will be able to invite someone over and say “Welcome to my gracious bedroom.”

Of course hooking up me t.v., dvd, and vcr is more difficult than it should be. I don’t understand, I thought I had the modulator in the right order. If anyone has tips on which is hooked to what, please let me know. Right now it’s DVD to the modulator to the VCR to the television. Maybe it has to go right to the television? ??? Bloody degree in film and video and I can’t even hook up my dvd player.