Convoluted Connections

Saskatoon is a weird fuckin’ city to be queer in. I have always thought so. Even weirder is the fact that anytime a queer issue, excuse me, “gay and lesbian” issue is brought up in the newspaper, there is always the stock quote from Gens Helquist.

He’s been providing the stock quotes for years and leading this backwater community towards really weird decisions. Back when a friend of mine tried to organize the first Pride parade, Gens said we couldn’t do that because it would be rude. Back when the same friend held Saskatoon’s first (and only) gay and lesbian film festival, Gens and his cronies advised most of the queer community to avoid it.

If Gens was at Stonewall he would be telling everyone “Now now, let’s not be hasty, these nice policemen are just doing their job.”

Another teenage friend of mine got a long lecture from Gens about being a pedophile because my teenage friend *gasp* liked other teenage boys. The end result being my friend got so convinced by this pedo label that he did go on to be a pedophile.

Anyway, enough about that, I just don’t see why he always gets to speak for Saskatoon’s “gay and lesbian” community.

I also don’t like when people say “gay and lesbian” as a community, because it cuts out at least three other identities that form our community. Namely bisexuals, transgendered folks, and intersexed people. I don’t like the idea that gays and lesbians will get rights and then tell other people in our community they can fuck off. And there are some monosexual queers who will tell trans/bi/intersex people to fuck off. Besides that, if I remember my queer history correctly it was a bunch of trannies who threw the bricks at stonewall.

God, this morning in my sleepy state I was convinced Ellen Degeneres wrote Stone Butch Blues, and I was trying to figure out how someone with such a sad story went on to be a comedian with a talk show. Oh my god, what would life be like if Leslie Feinberg went on to be a comedian?? I love hir, no disrespect, but imagine it. Wow.

My copy of Stone Butch Blues got water damage, I think because my shower wasn’t constrained by the curtain and spewed onto a pile of books. It also soaked my only copy of an ex lover’s porn spread in On Our Backs. Ironically that is the same spread which has my other ex lover’s ex lover in it. Yes, it is just, a teeny community, even for big city queers.

Here’s another weird story about how small this community is. My friend Robin met my first ex girlfriend through her friend in Toronto. I met Robin’s first ex girlfriend at a film festival in San Francisco. Robin and I met in Montreal when we were working in the same weird call centre. I think Vancouver was mixed in there somehow too. Oh yeah, and I was in a porno where Robin’s ex was the camera person. It’s a weird weird weird community.

God, I could think of other convoluted connections, but now I’m tired of that game. It’s only mildly interesting as an L Word narrative device.

Okay, one more. My best friend/neighbor from down the hall used to bake bread for the L Word.

It’s weird but true.

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