Cedar Waxwings Make No Mistakes

The best opening sentence was in the Star Phoenix today. “On a dead of winter day with every major Canadian city basking in freaky grass-growing temperatures, Prime Minister Stephen Harper stood outside 24 Sussex Drive Thursday clad only in a business suit to declare climate change his government’s new and pressing priority.”

Stephen Harper is the fuck ass Conservative Prime Minister the majority of Canadians hate, but ended up in office in one of those freaky things that happen as a result of having multiple political parties. He’s going to be booted out soon, I’m sure, since we’re pissed about being in Afghanistan and we’re pissed about his budget cuts and since he can do barely anything since he’s running a minority government. Not only that, but he shamelessly sashayed away from the Kyoto Accord and proposed to devise a “Made In Canada” approach to environmental issues. And why not, since our Made In Canada superstacks are successfully exporting pollution to Mexico.

It is a freaky winter. And I don’t want to have a crap winter because I have a new Cross Country Ski set!!! I hear a cherry tree is blooming in New York. New York. In JANUARY!! My mom’s noticed the Cedar Waxwings are back already, three months early. And you know nature knows more about what’s up with the weather than us. Cedar Waxwings make no mistakes.

Okay, I don’t know if that last sentence is true, but it’s awfully cute. Infalliable Cedar Waxwings.

I could make a really good argument for why capitalism is holding us back from making real headway into grappling with environmental issues, but I think you probably understand. Our current gas reduction plan here in Canada spans the next 45 years, completely ridiculous since we’ve already reached peak oil, and the majority of oil now is in oil sands, which are notoriously difficult to extract and process, and thus will ramp up prices and create more pollution just getting it out of the ground. It’s stupid. I don’t even care about ever owning a car because I don’t want to add to the problem.

The weather IS weird. I’ve been kind of following the shit that’s gone down in Vancouver last year, snow, hurricane winds, brown water, bleh. One of the reasons I left Van is that I felt “Oh shit, it’s all going down man!” I’m more predisposed to following my hunches than other people, considering in my family we have eerily accurate intuitive sense. Our reserve even managed to petition for day schools to avoid residential schools because some of my ancestors knew what was going to happen. And just a few nights ago I compelled my cousin to go half a foot over to the side of the road while going over a hill, and saved us from a head on collision with a dangerous driver. Anyway, yes, things are pretty messed up. My Saulteaux friend Laurel says her tribe believes people have to go back to their home regions for seven years while all the shit hits the fan. It’s making a lot of sense to me.

Saskatoon is actually a really good place to live in the event of a catastrophe or crisis. There is a lot of wild game, we have really good soil for farming, a smaller population means provisions and aid is required on a smaller scale compared to large urban centres. And I’m pretty skilled in survival, I know how to shoot, fish, build a fire, camp, determine north without a compass, cross long stretches of bald prairie, and walk out into minus 60 degree weather without dying. I remember one time in high school we all arrived and were appalled to find out it was minus 60 with the wind chill and yet school hadn’t been cancelled. But really, that’s Saskatchewan for you.

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