Gay boys drive me crazy, because they get so paranoid about gender. SO paranoid. And I think I know why.
I didn’t really think about butch and femme until I started meeting other two spirited people in female bodies who were FEMME! That was so shocking for me. I didn’t notice it unless I dated someone with the same gender as me, but they could do the girl thing SO well. I was like, fuck, you are such a boy, but you can be a really good girl! You do that really well, how do you do that? I can’t do that! It was such a puzzle. I mean, I had never seen a two spirited person when they were in a gender presentation they could actually work with. And that was always why I ran away, because I couldn’t understand how that kind of femininity worked. That always blew my mind, my brains would end up on the floor. A girl who knew how to play like the boys AND still keep her make up on, fucking hell! Fucking hell! That’s insane! And there was always this frustrated moment between us where I’d be like, fuck, you be the top, I don’t know how to beat that! You look like a girl! How do you make such an excellent girl?
But I don’t know if they ever felt like such excellent girls, because no one ever wanted to see their boy side. And they totally have one and it makes everyone crazy. I mean, they make really good girls! But they can be so dangerous, because really no one acknowledges that they have a boy gender that’s happy being femme. And I’ve watched them do insane things to try to prove that they are girls, and they don’t have to prove anything. They’re just too intense for most people. And they are girls, in this so super intense way. But I know one of them, if not more, would bitchslap me if I didn’t mention upfront that they also have some intense boy stuff going on.
I remember when I got my psychic reading, she kept using a gender neutral term for someone I liked. And I was like “girl” and she kept saying “person.” Fuck that was a good psychic. But it’s true, I’ve watched all kinds of people show up. To be perfectly frank, most people nowadays are trans in some way or another. Just because if you want to use your whole brain, you have to access the other gender too. That’s the way a whole brain works together. But I think butch and femme is still relevant, because that’s how people have fun with gender. And it doesn’t always look like butch-femme, sometimes it’s butch-butch and femme-femme, because then you get fun variations. And I have seen boy girl couples that are femme femme, totally, that so exists.
See, now it’s getting confusing again, which is good, because gender and sexuality are confusing.