Radioactive Fiestaware is nothing compared to this!

Well, what is new? Hmm. I am still clean. I’m feeling pretty good about that. Today I had some puffs off some cigarette butts (my butts) and thought “Well this is gross and desperate” and then went to the store and bought patches and lozenges to quit with. I really didn’t want to buy cigarettes again. So I have a patch and I sucked on a lozenge while it kicked in. The nicotine spray isn’t as effective as I had hoped it would be.

I finally got to see my friends last night. I hung out with Amy Jo for supper and we tried to watch the Zombie Walk but they waited too long to cross the bridge and it started pouring rain, so we went home. Then after watching Monty Python’s The Meaning Of Life with her I went and met my friends Aaron and Daniel and we went to Flint and then to the May Day Cabaret. It was super fun! But I had to catch the last bus home, because cabs in this town suck because the city refuses to give out more licenses, so there is like, an hour or two long wait for a cab on Fridays and Saturdays after 12. And if you are trying to catch a cab from a really poor neighborhood, like 20th St, sometimes they will never show up at all! :O

My body aches. My work set up is not ergonomic at all. When I was in training to become a telephone operator, we learned about ergonomics and had a quiz at the end. One of the questions was about a sparkly cup with pens in it and some other things on a desk. None of us answered correctly, we were supposed to switch the sparkly cup with a matte cup. Touchy! Anyway, I don’t have a lot of sparkly things in my office, so I know that is not the problem. My desk is too high. Actually, I should just make my chair higher, then I bet I wouldn’t have a problem. I am so short!

Well geez, I wish I had thought of that earlier!

I’m really terrified and depressed about Fukushima’s Reactor Four blowing up and destroying most of life on earth. I feel so cheated out of a future. I want to get married and make a feature film and have a family and now it’s not gonna happen! Well, that’s not a for sure thing either. I mean, really intelligent aliens could land with technology we don’t know about and save our planet. But we would probably blow them up if they showed up to help. It’s so fucked. Life is so fucked! It makes everything I do seem really insignificant in comparison! This has been bothering me for a while. They say that it’s 85 times worse than Chernobyl. I never wanted nuclear power. I always thought it was a bad idea. But I’m not running the planet, THEY are.

I had a friend who broke his red fiestaware plate because it was made with a radioactive glaze, which makes them really rare plates because everyone tried to get rid of them. But somehow I think breaking it might be a worse idea than leaving it intact.

Yes, said friend is very very gay.

In case you didn’t know, there is a group of gay men affectionately referred to as Dish Queens who collect Fiestaware.

I like Fiestaware.

Maybe not the radioactive stuff though!

I’m really worried about this reactor though. I am sad that I might never find love before everything goes to hell and I die from radiation exposure. Of tit cancer or something. Pinky cancer. Clit cancer! Oh god, it just gets worse. And yet things are going really well for me. I have a residency. I’m going to Germany. I have a business and am getting clients. I’ve got a chance to possibly get a big grant to make a big film. On video. Everything could be going my way! But I don’t have a lover, which makes me lonely. I would like someone to hold while I am dying of radioactive imagination!

Anyway, everytime I turn around it seems someone else is posting a scary article about what’s happening in Japan, and I can’t do anything because I don’t know how to invent something that can pick up melted isotopes and keep them in water. I guess a Shop Vac isn’t good enough. And I am sure Henry can’t do anything either!

I worried so much about a nuclear incident when I was a kid, but I thought it would be nuclear war. Turns out we’re gonna get wiped out by nuclear power. Great. Same same. They say the Pacific Ocean is already highly contaminated. 🙁

I just hope I can find a girlfriend before the end. Someone who is nice to me and supportive and loving. But I am worried I would settle for less just to avoid being all alone on the Titanic!

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