Now You’re just Somebody That I Used To Know

Tomorrow will be three weeks totally sober. Mum and I went to Safeway today and she bought me twelve Cokes because I’m not drinking anymore and I still want to drink something fun. I realize I have to expand my beverage palate though. Coke is really nice, but totally unhealthy, but I am making all these other changes and dammit, I am not giving up soda pop just yet! I’m not giving up coffee either.

Actually we finally got some sweetened condensed milk so I can make myself some Vietnamese Iced Coffee. I will keep you abreast of my first foray into homemade iced coffee!

I have my last concurrent disorders group tomorrow before I go to Germany. I leave next Thursday. A week away! 😀 So exciting! I’m still not drinking there, even though people are acting like it’s terrible I can’t drink. It’s not terrible! Being stuck in a psych ward, that’s terrible! Being sober is just different. But I was perfectly content before I started drinking with my life. I still had fun, I still went dancing, I did all kinds of things. I didn’t feel hindered by being a straight edge teenager up until I was 18. I liked my life. And I feel like I am coming out of a long series of bad decisions I made with substances and it’s pretty decent on the other side. I need to make more friends though, sober friends. Or even just people who are decent enough to respect my new sobriety and not act like I am dying because I can’t drink anymore, or do drugs.

The other morning my Mom asked me if I drank her wine. No. Then she got pissed off because it meant another one of my cousins had drank half her wine secretly while she was visiting. I was shocked! Alcoholism runs rampant in my family, it’s true. But the point is, I was happy that for once it wasn’t me stealing liquor. I didn’t do it! Hurrah! Oh, but I was also sad that she thought I was secretly drinking and not being sober. I’m really committed to doing this properly.

What else? I shot some video. That was pretty awesome. I think I got some good shots. I did some work this week and did my laundry and I have some paperwork to do and I got my pharmacy to fax my doctors so I can get refills on my prescriptions and another set of bubble packs for my trip. I need five weeks worth of meds or I am bound to get loopy, it’s pretty crucial. I have a full agenda tomorrow of working and group and then picking up a cheque and then taking it to the bank. I should really make a list of everything I have to do before I leave.

My cousin who I have been having troubles with who got kicked out of our house is actually doing detox and treatment. I wish him well, I hope he is serious about it. It’s about time he gave it up.

I’m still lonely about love. I really wish I was in a serious relationship. Some people say you shouldn’t date in your first year of sobriety. I don’t know what I think about that. I feel like I could do it. They say it won’t happen until you are ready, but what if you just live in a tiny city where all the lesbians are coupled off and married and there isn’t really anyone anyway? Then what? Huh huh? Are you still not ready, or is it just your city is too small?

Anyway, I have to get up early, so I am going to bed. I am gonna try and link to this post on my facebook, I was having trouble linking this to facebook, but then I saw someone just tried a bunch of times with their blog and eventually it worked. So I am gonna try again!

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