An Earnest Beginning to my Research

I have finally finally started doing my research for my scholarly writing I have to do and submit with my grad application! 😀 I am doing an essay about Lesbian Spectatorship and Lesbian Subtext, with possibly a look at the creation of alternate narratives (slash). I got access to JSTOR, which is a site that has a lot of electronic journals, and did a search for Lesbian Spectatorship and Lesbian Subtext. So far the articles I have to read are:

Subtext and Countertext in “Muriel’s Wedding” By Jill A. Mackey
Visual “Drive” and Cinematic Narrative: Reading Gaze Theory in Lacan, Hitchcock, and Mulvey By Clifford T. Manlove
Theorizing Mainstream Female Spectatorship: The Case of the Popular Lesbian Film By Karen Hollinger
Sexual Indifference and Lesbian Representation By Teresa de Lauretis
Queering the (New) Deal: Lesbian and Gay Representation and the Depression-Era Cultural Politics of Hollywood’s Production Code By David M. Lugowski
Cruisin’ for a Brusin’: Hollywood’s Deadly (Lesbian) Dolls By Chris Holmlund
Confessions of a Lesbian Feminist Slasher By Dale Rosenberg

I read the Muriel’s Wedding one already, it gave me a few ideas. I have to get through the rest in the next few days. And then maybe look for some books or other articles which get cited. Then will begin my task of writing a good essay. One that will demonstrate my ability to write scholarly blah blah blahs. I hope I do a good job. I was happy to realize I can still read texts like these. I was worried I would feel totally out of my element since I haven’t read academic texts in a long time. But it’s not so bad. I feel like my topic could go so many directions, I want to mention how the Hays code impacted Lesbian Spectatorship and Lesbian Subtext. I guess I could do that in a short space, I’m worried I’ll get all rambly and go too many places with it. And slash could be a whole article all of it’s own. I used to have a book by Constance Penley about slash, but I don’t know what happened to it.

In other news, things are fine. Steven apologized about washing my Pendleton Blanket and I accepted his apology, so that is over.

I got my FODADA Cardigan that I won from OUTtv in the mail yesterday, I was quite pleased with it! It fits me, except the sleeves are too long, and it’s black which was the colour I was hoping for! I like winning things!

That’s the third thing I have won from OUTtv. I also won a Lacroix bracelet and a Gautier cologne set.

The only problem is almost as soon as I put my cardigan on, I got little white hairs all over it! 🙁 Darnitall!

I made some rice krispie squares tonight. That was pretty awesome. I wanted to make some doukhobor bread too, but Steven is making baguettes, so there is no need to make a whole bunch of breads at once. I COULD make ginger snaps though, which would be really nice.

I’ve started reading fiction before going to sleep, and it’s been helping me get to sleep a lot faster than looking at the computer late into the night. Thanks to my friend D’Arcy for the tip! I’m currently reading The Casual Vacancy. It’s well written but I can’t say I actually care much about the story. I am only at page 38, but so far it is just a bunch of people talking about someone who dies on page 2.

I’m still girlfriendless. I don’t know when I will get one. I had heard October or November from my psychic, but she said that depended on me and I feel like I have failed miserably in my mission to get a hunny! I hardly even circulate anymore, I am usually at home knitting or reading or baking something. I’m acting like a housewife without a counterpart. So I don’t actually get the benefits of domesticity, besides being well read and having a scarf finally and having nice things to eat.

Being sober is still going well! 😀 No weed, no alcohol. No nothing else for a while now. I did do something a couple of months ago, but it wasn’t anything I had needed to quit and was an anomaly more than anything. So that’s kewl! I feel like my options for meeting women has shrunk since I quit drinking especially, even though it has made me a happier, healthier person. BUT I am gonna go to the gay bar for the first time in MONTHS on Saturday for a party in support of Transgender Day Of Remembrance. I’m gonna wear a mustache and tie. And drink pop.

I’m so relieved I finally started doing my research for my paper. I was getting worried. Now I have to start approaching people to write letters of reference for me. I think I have the three people I was going to use in mind. My film prof, my contemporary Aboriginal arts prof, and my colleague and past curator Adrian Stimson. I hope they write good letters! 😀

I’m applying for a job as a Customer Service Representative, and I need to get my high school transcripts and a typing test. I hope I am still a fast typer! I was last tested at 42 wpm. But that was a few years ago! We’ll see where I am at now.

I have some work I have to do soon soon soon! And I have to get my hard drive and tapes in to VTape so they can distribute them!

AND I have to pay the damn deductible on my accident I was in in March. Shitty! That is gonna wipe out a huge chunk of change! 🙁 Sad me!

But really, things are going well again, and life is getting back on track, and if I get a part time job that pays well I will be in a really good spot again and be able to start socking away money for school! I need to get a hundred bucks for my grad school application fee too. The deadline is January 16th. Eeeeeeee! It’s only a couple of months away!

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