Ugh I’ve been dreading writing this post on here cause I feel like I need to update the embryos situation. I mean because I have been so open about it.

SO I got my eggs fertilized, and basically they were growing until they stopped. They didn’t get to blasts. Which means they didn’t work. Which is sad. So I’m not trying again. It was thousands of dollars to just do the one cycle, and I’m not so wealthy that I can keep doing it. So I’ve been absorbing it for a while now, the ramifications. If they had worked I still would have needed to find a surrogate, which is complicated and expensive. And so now I don’t have to.

I signed up for a webinar to find out about the adoption process in Ontario later this month. I’m relieved that there ISN’T an age limit here on adoption. It gives me more time than the surrogate option would have.

But mostly I’m just trying to let this redirect me in another way children might come into my life. I’m trying to be open minded. It might be totally different than I expected.

ALSO I’m kind of glad I’ll have space and room to form a healthy romantic relationship with someone before bringing children into the mix, or without pushing my ideas of how I want to bring them into our relationship. Like, maybe we can have a solid two years together before adopting someone, which would be nice. It would be nice to have that space to grow together without the pressure of a biological clock. Or who knows maybe I will end up dating someone who is a parent.

Lol someone left a whole message on this site just to tell me I was a bad speller today I deleted it but I was thinking wow fuck you.