Some Relief!

Anyway, life is back to normal so work takes up most of my days again. Today was a heavy admin day, not as creative. But I did figure out an issue I was having with my video which I am prepared to fix now. I also got a lot of fees and payments today that let me pay my cleaner, therapist, internet and phone bill, put a sad but symbolic amount on the visa, and late tonight I got an artist fee that let me finally buy my plane ticket to London UK next month. I was getting super anxious about the plane ticket because I know prices get higher the closer to the date it is. So I totally lucked out and got an okay priced economy ticket with Air Canada who is hopefully not as sketch as they can be.

So it’s official now! I am going to London! We have a place to stay but I need to raise enough to pay the other half of the Airbnb. I know Airbnb sucks but this guy actually lives there most of the time so it’s not AS bad as some places. I hope not anyway! I’m excited because I haven’t been to London since before the pandemic. Like, 2019. SO LONG AGO so much has happened! A whole pandemic unfolded globally AND I transitioned, so I am returning a very different person in a very different time.

23andMe says some of my genes are from Greater London. I knew I had Scottish ancestors but the Greater London genes kind of surprised me. Sometimes I wish I knew all of the people in the past who combined genes to one day make me. I think the diversity of all those people makes it even more cool. I have Mongolian DNA and my Grandpa also had Mongolian DNA so I know where it comes from in my family. It’s kind of cool to think of ancient Mongolians traveling on to become Crees. I know this is a contentious subject though that makes people upset, but that’s just been what the DNA test said, two different tests and Grandpa’s was with the big Genome project. So I believe it. I do still think Crees were clearly in Canada for a long time. Like thousands of years.

Tomorrow is this Canada wide protest against trans and queer people in schools but it’s like, basically overall an anti-LGBTQ2S protest. And there’s obviously counter-protestors and so I wish I could counter-protest with them but at the same time I feel pretty obviously trans. And the counter-protestors are telling people to go with a friend and leave with a friend for safety and that people are taking pics and doxxing people. And I have very identifiable tattoos also and I have a large online presence so I’d just rather avoid it. I’ve been concerned though because I still want people in power to know how I feel. So I’m going to take some time in the morning to write to various politicians and stuff to explain my concerns. I know it’s just a small way of being heard, but I’m hoping it makes a difference. I might do an email but I also know written letters can make an impact, so in the morning I will decide if I want to do written or email. It might not help, but it might, I don’t know. It would be better than being silent, and better than being in harm’s way too.

I wish I didn’t have to be afraid. I was telling my friend today that transitioning has been such a source of joy and the only hard parts about it have been the hateful cis people. Like, literally no part of my medical transition has made me unhappy. I just get treated like shit because of it sometimes and that makes me resentful. I don’t know why cis people want to make us the problem when it’s obviously the other way around.

Not all cis people are transphobic though. Some cis people have even been involved in my medical transition. It’s just this very vocal minority of cis people who are trying to be super hateful who suck.

All this being said, I am aware that the UK has it’s own particular brand of transphobia that I might be walking into next month. I guess we’ll see!

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