Well my Grampa’s haplogroup is STILL unknown, but my Gramma turned out to be an H. Not surprising since half the women in Europe are H’s. What is interesting though is that we are ALL, every single human on the planet, descended from one woman in Africa dubbed the mitochondrial Eve. There isn’t one man we’re descended from, but one woman in everyone’s maternal lineage. Pretty cool.

I just finished my vampire video, You Are A Lesbian Vampire. I WAS going to output and stuff tonight, but I left all my new tapes at Mom’s house. SO MAYBE TOMORROW> fucking keyboard!

Tomorrow is house cleaning day, which will be nice I guess, because the house sure needs it. fer sure.

We’re getting ready for the first big shoot week, which is coming up in less than a fortnight. We’re travelling around Grampa’s homelands here in Canada and America. It will be a nice road trip.

I finally got a firewire and have been busy outputting shot video onto my computer. It’s been a lot of fun! I’m editing my lesbian vampire video as we speak, type, whatever. It’s a voiceover with a heartbeat and then some hot shots of two girls kissing. But I need to throw in a couple more video bits to it, girls kissing cannot carry it all alone, sadly.

I’m trying to give up smoking, but I smoked for pride. I should get back on the patch soon.

I didn’t meet any single girls this pride, though I did meet a lesbian I used to go to high school with. I didn’t know she was a lesbo then.

Pride was nice, we went to the parade and it didn’t rain on us. Mom got me a gay sticker for my bike. We had a hot dog.

Then I partied all night, and now I am still up, musing on my day.

I realy do love making video and shooting and editing it. Its like my favorite thing, even more than drugs!

LOL.

I can’t really write this morning, I just felt bad for not giving my blog a newer post.

I smell something floral.

We waited in line at Divas for 35 minutes before giving up. Ugh! They were full and only taking members first. So we came back here for the rest of our fun.

I love Pride, and there were some very sexy girls there.

But even more than Pride, I love my new firewire cable.

I’ve been in two psych wards, one in Montreal and one in Saskatoon. The first time in the hospital I got really fucked up over it. THE LAST TIME WASN”T BAD>

I actually had a really good time in the hospital the last time I was there. I mean ya it was boring and all, but they spoke english! And I made some good friends. I actually ran into a guy last night who remembers me from the hospital. It was a positive experience, and they were so concerned about what my follow though care would be afterwards. It wasn’t like the first time, getting shoved out with an official designation as crazy.

At least crazy isn’t a full time thing though.

Last night I got ripped on drugs, I am STILL up, and I had the best talk with my straight friend Preston about sucking tit and eating pussy.

I’m chewing gum. I’m wide awake and I wish I could go to sleep.

But really, now I know that my first experience in the bin was an anomaly. Montreal wards suck major ass, somethings wrong with that city as far as their mental health care system.

We all went to the Yard to celebrate Deanna’s birthday. Then we went to Lydias, and then a bunch of us came to my house and stayed up all night. They’ve all crashed now And I am still awake! i now I’ll crash soon though/ But what a fun night!

I’ve made a new vow to only do pot on special occassions. Like once or twice a month. I’m quitting everyday pot use. I really think it will improve my creativity to cut back that much.

LIFE IS QUIET i’m really missing going to festivals though, which means I have to get my videos out there again. I’m not going to bother fixing my stupid keyboard’s antics this post.

So enough sitting around on my ass. I have to get a camera with firewire and then output my very late video.

It’s kind of a strange video because it was made for installations.

I also have to get my priorities fixed this summer while I work on my new video. I’m thinking of it as a road movie I guess. I really need to be giving it more thought and attention.

I’ve been considering quitting pot. Altogether or cutting back. I’m not sure which yet, but I’m thinking it’s been a waste of time lately. I need to get more creative, and it’s not helping my creativity anymore. Probably never did really.

I’m also trying to shoot my new video You Are A Lesbian Vampire. I’m going to make it really short. Probably about two minutes. I want it to be really sexy and funny. Carrie Gates has already agreed to be the vampire, so it should be fun. I just need a victim-girlfriend now. And I already have someone in mind. Yay for victim girlfriends! LOL! I shouldn’t say such things as a feminist. More LOL.

Where am I? Oh yeah, so I’m planning two road trips in North America and Scotland. And doing a shoot sometime soon. Maybe this week. It depends if I can recharge my phone enough to get a hold of Carrie for scheduling. I’ve realized I really need to refocus on my career. I was getting somewhere for a while there. I need to get it back on track man. I miss hitting the festival circut. That was always fun.

Anyway, I’m 30 now and that means I’m ready for big changes. I want to keep control over my bipolar disorder. The meds I am on are really great right now. I’m pretty happy. Not manic happy, but content with life. I’m discontent actually, which is why I need the big changes. I dunno. I’m quitting smoking, which is going okay, despite slips. I’m on the patch and sticking with it.

I need to clean more, is one issue I could deal with I guess.

I really need to consider this road movie aspect of my project. I need to get a better handle on it. I’m thinking of using a heartbeat for my vampire project, just this quiet heartbeat on the whole soundtrack. I’m currently making my summer music playlist for my ipod.

My cat just pooped in a box, and it smells! Schrodinger, you’re such a bad kitty!

My tattoo got finished a couple of days ago. Wow, right now my animals are all supremely calm. I don’t want to disturb it. They are sacked out. I wonder what they do when I am not here. Anyway, getting it finished, the tattoo I mean, wasn’t too bad. I don’t particularly enjoy getting tattooed, but the end results always seem to be worth it. I like having a nice piece of art adorn my body. Anyway, here is the end result.

Hey hey hey! I’m in the Spring issue of SPIRIT right now with my short story Horsie. Be sure to check it out on the newsstands, it is full of sexy NDNs getting it on. Also you can see my video Helpless Maiden Makes an “I” Statement at non-compliance.ca.

Be sure to check it out!

I’m getting high on two very intense pot brownies that my cuz No Ass D and I made together. We’re watching V for Vendetta and acting silly, but her favorite scene is on so I thought I would blog.

I got fifty bucks and a lucky bamboo and a swimming suit for my 30th birthday. The Bamboo is really cute, and I have underwear made out of bamboo, so it matches.

Why am I blogging in this condition? Good question mon ami.

Well, sometimes it amuses me. And really the number one reason I blog is because it amuses me. I’ve done it for so long now, well over ten years. And I wish I still had some of my early stuff. Oh well.

They are intently watching V pour Vendetta again. Blood everywhere, groddy!

Bollocks.

I like saying that, I ought to say that more often.
anyway, back to entertaining the guests. Tomorrow morning we are having toad in the hole for brekky.

Yours truly may be hosting a show on CFCR starting sometime in the not too distant future. Rainbow Radio is looking for hosts, and I’m itching to do something in the community. It’s a GLBT show every Sunday night. I used to volunteer at a show called Women Visions in Vancouver at their co-op radio station. I’ve been wanting to do something at CFCR for a while now, and so this is right up my alley. And I really like working the switches and stuff at radio stations. That’s super fun. I love techy stuff of all nature, because I’m a geek.

I’m also thinking of doing volunteer work for Pride, and maybe finding a group of like minded people to run play parties, AND I still want to start up a film festival. And there was something else I was thinking of doing. I’m a busy tomboy. I still want to volunteer at Hantleman. Someone told me not to, but I liked spending time with the volunteer I saw. And I know crazy people inside and out. I’ve been around enough of them, that’s for sure, in all states of craziness.

I’m feeling pretty good these days, surprisingly. I guess my life is going better than I’d hoped. I still want to make my feature though. I did network with a producer on Facebook, I’m thinking of asking her advice on where I go next with my screenplay, as in who’s looking to produce a feature.

Networking’s the most important part of being a filmmaker, but sometimes I’m just so damned shy about it. I don’t put myself out there as much as some filmmakers. I don’t self promote as much as I should. It’s a problem. Which is why maybe getting out in the community will be good for me.

Oh, I’m also going to try to start writing for the local alternative biweekly Planet S. I’ve been wanting to write for them for a while now, and I think it would be a lot of fun. So eee!

Hey, apparently my work is now showing at the National Gallery in Ottawa. Pretty cool hey?

That video of the soldier throwing a puppy off a cliff was so horrible, I kept thinking about that poor dog for ages. I hate seeing shit like that because it makes me feel so angry about people who abuse animals. Animals can’t defend themselves, especially not a puppy.

MY puppy is doing very well. I was out yesterday for most of the day and he did okay. Of course when I got home he was excited and jumping on me licking me. Silly boy.

I love my dog, I’m so glad I finally get to live with him again.

Last night my kitty was BAD! So bad, first he was getting his claws in the screen window by my bed and trying to pull it out. Then he got his toy mouse and started PLAYING ON ME! It was four in the morning and I finally had to escort him to the bedroom door and kicked him out. Then he banged on the door for a while to get back in.

Bad kitty! Anyway, I slept until a little while ago to try and catch up on my sleep.

So far this coop living is nice. I live kinda far from everything though, So I renewed my learner’s license and I’m going to try and learn to drive this summer. I hope I hope.

Ugh! I hate watching images of what the soldiers are doing in Iraq. Here’s another series of horrid clips, including the infamous water bottle chase, and a soldier THROWING a puppy! Not to mention making muslim kids chant We Love Pork. Sick, and the commander of this horrid war is about as sick as the soldiers themselves. Gross. What kind of America are they going to get after this war is over, all kinds of seriously sociopathic soldiers coming back? Are there EVER going to be war crimes trials?

In other news, last night my dog at three in the morning decided to get his squeaky teddy bear out and went squeak squeak squeak all the way from the living room back to my bedroom. It woke me up, that’s for sure. Then he went back to bed. Weird dog!