Well I have a lot more energy these days and I am in a pretty good mood. My libido is still mostly absent, but I have some hope it will return. Today I finally finished my scarf. Last night I finished knitting the last few inches and cast off, and today after purchasing some yarn needles I sewed in all the loose ends. I wore it a few times outside while smoking, it is SUPER warm! 😀 Yay yay yay! I’m pretty happy with it, I have finally finished my knitting project! Next I am doing dishcloths, and then after a bit of practice I am moving on to knitting myself a hat! I might do it using the perl stitch, because I have to learn that.
I actually cleaned my room today. If you know me you would know that is quite a feat! I did the laundry, swept, washed the floor, sprayed an enzyme down that eats dog urine odor, and decluttered the area of my room that was just covered with boxes and books and random shit! I’m trying to properly housetrain Mister, because even though he goes outside all the time he still sneaks off and pees in my room. And Mum’s room, and the kitchen, and the office. Never the bathroom, oddly enough.
I also want him to be a good roommate for if I live with someone in Toronto. He’s a really sweet dog, he just has that flaw. But I have been reading about housebreaking an adult dog, and it seems simple enough as long as I can be consistent.
I have high hopes for my future these days. I feel like I had been at loose ends for a long time, really aimless. And now I feel like things might finally come together for me. I’m applying to school, I applied for a job today, I am knitting, I am starting to take care of things around the house like cleaning. I feel like I have turned a new leaf since I quit drinking and drugging. I am starting to care about things again, whereas before I would just use until I didn’t care anymore. It’s a good feeling.
I have work in the morning, but it is supposed to snow, which means we won’t be able to find needles. So I am dubious it is going to happen. But I should still go to bed early. I’m not sure what I should do. Right now I am drinking tea. I could knit, but I don’t know if I feel calm enough. My mind is busy. I hope I don’t go manic, that’d suck! Maybe knitting is a good idea, it would help still my mind. I have been thinking about getting into meditation. I have a yoga mat I could sit on while I do it. It would be really good for my bipolar disorder.
Well, I think I am gonna surf the web and read self helpy webpages. I used to go across the street to Chapters when I lived on South Granville and sit in the self help section reading. It was awesome! 😀
One thought on “New Leaf”
It’s good to read up on stuff and find out about how we work.
Do you have a system where you consistently work on making art? Such as once a week in an evening or whatever. It can seem really unproductive at first but then looking back you realize you’ve gotten some stuff made.