Disorderly Living

Shit! I’ve had this long standing issue with disordered eating patterns where I just FORGET to eat until late in the day. It’s really bad. Anyway, yesterday I didn’t eat until 3pm. I’m trying to stop doing this. Like that is pretty typical for me. And it contributes to me being chubby oddly enough because my body goes into starvation mode so when I do finally eat it holds onto as much as it can.

Also incidentally it is probably related to my ADHD.

Anyway, today I DID remember to eat on time, and just ate an early dinner.

I also finished (FINALLY!) the first draft of my short video script. I’ve really dragged my feet on this project and I need to do a lot better and get it and another project finished and off into the world. I’m planning to be done the rewrites in the next few days and then do a casting call among friends and friends of friends to plan a shoot in the next month or so. It’s really going to depend on money coming into my life or not, worse comes to worse I have a camera and tripod and can rent some lights for cheap. Ah shit I need some new mics, or rented mics!

I’m waiting to hear about funding, it’s freaking me out, like it always does. I have two possible funders for two different projects. And I’m waiting to hear about a possible award thingy.

Really I just wish artists could get some kind of regular income besides being a sessional. Actually that’s not even regular income because sometimes your class isn’t offered or they hire someone else.

But anyway, that is a constant annoyance of mine. I like what I do for a living, I just wish I didn’t have to worry about if it will or won’t provide a living.

I’ve been enjoying being alone with the dogs again. Mom was nice to hang out with, but two weeks in a one bedroom apartment is stressful. Now it’s just the pups and I and our routine. And we can watch whatever we want on TV.

Facebook is stressing me out these days. Actually I am thinking of taking a break from it and deactivating for a while. I already have this blog, Instagram, Twitter, and Tumblr to hang out on and find shit out. I wonder if maybe I should just log out and not log in for a while. The only thing I really like about it is that I can look at it on my phone in public without a big ole penis zooming by like when I try to check out my Tumblr. Which I don’t mind in private, but it looks all kinds of suspicious if someone is standing over you on the streetcar. I’m just tired of the sad posts and frustrating interactions with friends. It’s pretty depressing when you know your relationship with someone would improve if they would stop commenting on everything. OR better yet, if you provided NO content for them to comment on.

You know I feel like I should log out for a month, BUT ACTUALLY one of my friends was only logging in once a week for a day. Which might make more sense. PLUS Messenger still works without having to be on FB.

It’s something I have been thinking about for a while. I feel like my relationship with all the other social medias I am involved with is a lot healthier, a lot less addictive and stressful. Like I just don’t check up on them as much. I maybe check Instagram 3 times a day, Twitter once a week, Tumblr every three days. Using them might ramp up a bit more if I restrict my FB useage, but not as much as I currently use facebook. Like I am just so addicted. And most of the time it doesn’t enhance my life, except that I see events and people wanting to do stuff. But if they know I am only online once a week or on the weekend maybe it will be okay.

Plus I have Snapchat, which is cute and more interesting than Facebook. People are more creative on it.

And a bonus of quitting FB during the week is I would probably get a lot more work done, AND do more reading. I still have a Miranda July book to read, and the Gilda Stories, and some other books that I know I’d be way into if I just sat down and read them instead of being distracted by how many essays about fakey faker Joseph Boyden I can read in an hour.

One thought on “Disorderly Living

  1. It sounds to me like you should check facebook once a week only. Set a time limit too like an hour only. That’s it.
    Any tool should serve you and your life. If it doesn’t then you don’t need it in your life.

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