The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves

I’m so bored out of my skull being broke and recovering. SO FUCKING BORED. I’m doing my work though. I did some admin. And I finally updated my name on my Social Insurance Number. That was easier than I expected, I just had to fill out an online form and then upload my birth certificate, passport, Status Card, and Legal Name Change certificate. So it’s fine. I don’t know how long it will take to update the system, but when they do I can finally change my business name in my CRA account. And then I think I’m done for my legal name change process, a relief! Unless I want to update my old universities so I can get new degrees issued.

My money is missing, someone is looking into it for me but basically it never went into my account. So it’s somewhere in the ether I guess! Yikes! It’s 500 USD which is a CHUNK especially when converted to Canadian dollars. Where is it? Floating in space. It’s not a check it’s a wire transfer. I hope I get some answers soon because I’m officially in the hole. Adobe took money out of my account but there’s no money in that account so it’s like, 77 in the hole. And it will probably bounce by the end of the day, but my bank will take a further 48 dollars out of my account for being poor. Capitalism is a scam! I saw a meme or something about how this one place finally taxed the rich people and raised almost two billion dollars and it’s like YEAH you fuckers if you want money go after the people with the money! Not me and my empty pockets.

Anyway. Dogs have been barking all day. I’m not sure who barks more. Todd doesn’t really bark unless he’s looking out the window and there’s a dog or someone nearby. But Posey randomly barks at various times. ALSO she insists on making me check if the mail has come. And then when the mail HAS come, she makes me check some more because maybe MORE mail came? And sometimes she’s right. Even when I am doing a video call or something I have to go check the mail or she will have a major freak out. Dogs are exhausting. Pretty funny guys too though or I wouldn’t live with them. Todd’s been dismantling the couch so he can beat up the middle cushion. It’s pretty cute, it’s bigger than him!

Ahh fuck what else? I’m going to be on the radio today in the States so that’s nice. Hoping it goes well, I’m not sure what they are going to ask. It’s about my appearance at EMPAC next week. So that will be a thing.

I’m looking forward to travelling next week. I haven’t been on a plane since I got back from Buenos Aires! SO LONG! The last time I didn’t travel on a plane for a long time was the beginning of the pandemic when travel was cancelled. I think my first trip was to LA to see kwêskosîw (She Whistles) screen at Outfest. And I fell in love that trip too but it had a sad ending. But that is a fucking long time ago now! Wow, ages and ages.

I’m not sure when I’m going to fall in love again. I’m trying to avoid falling in love with impossible people, which has made me strike people off the list a lot faster. Which is good for me because I used to hang on to impossibilities. But I don’t know, maybe I just haven’t been impressed lately. My therapist says I should wait to see who works to impress me and treat me well and prove they’re a good partner. Which sounds simple enough. BUT it’s also pretty slow and boring because no one’s working to impress me right now. I have those Grindr guys and people, but none of them are serious contenders. I don’t know, it will probably be something like going to a festival or something. A big opening. I don’t know. The usual places I end up I suppose. Maybe this work trip! I have another work trip in NYC in June, and that’s a lot closer than my sad no love in California, so maybe I need to get on Tinder there or something. Lex probably. I don’t know Lex is kind of a flakey app. Really all the apps are flakey. It’s hard to take things seriously I guess. Sometimes I’m even just too busy or uninterested in dating. Like my career takes a lot of work and time and also gives me money occasionally so it generally has a higher priority than dates.

I was talking to some guy on Grindr and he wanted to meet up but surgery plus infection equals not right now but maybe later. But then he got kind of pissy about not right now and it raised a lot of red flags so I probably won’t talk to him much anymore. I don’t know why people are impatient. Like I get the desire to meet, but also I’m currently out of commission until things heal up so there’s not really anything anyone can do about it. Grr.

Everyone on Grindr wants to meet immediately, I should just avoid it until June.

Ahh what a complainy post! I’m just tired of always being like things are amazing! Never better. Being poor always sucks. Especially when people owe me money but haven’t paid or won’t pay for a while. Like I am so broke right now but I legitimately am owed almost $8000 from two places and I don’t know when I’ll see it. And I haven’t paid rent for this month yet, I told them I could pay at the same time as June rent. But I don’t know if I’ll get my money by then. It’s frustrating. MY MONEY! How come some people get paid right away but artists always have to wait?

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