1980
Originally uploaded by fit of pique.

This is me catching up on the news. I pretty much wore headphones my whole life. I’m listening to the Doors here. I also got into the Eurythmics not very long after. I think my mom was really confused by some of the things I did. I’d be singing “Love is a stranger in an open car” and my mum would be like “You can’t get into a car with a stranger!” And I’d be like, “oh I know, silly”, and then launch into a rendition of Sweet Dreams. Once I took a cd to school and found out it was completely age inappropriate, which was disappointing because the age appropriate music was boring. When Girls Just Want to Have Fun came out I think my mom was relieved because then she could channel me towards something more utopian feminist than BDSM roleplay romance.

But I have to say, Disney movies can be so boring, do you think women really just wait and wait and wait. No way man.

I used to write zen poetry as a child but nobody really got it. So I gave up, it was too damned symbolic. All about birds and reflections and the short and tragic life of a water bug.

An Assignment

They say that life is really a school, so let’s go back to the beginning. You have until June 6 2012 to rewrite the end of the world, in whatever form you want, according to things you’ve noticed in this lifetime (or others if you remember them). It can be as long or short as you want, with as many plot twists and devices you like. You can look in any form of communication available and read as much history as you want. You can rewrite your own history free of any mistakes you noticed. Afterwards you’ll be graded on the new improved story of your life. You can move on to any level afterwards and describe it as well. I’m just curious to see how things could be different, because I only know how things could be different for me. I will not be marking anything. Someone else will do that.

Oh now come on!

Of all the role play scenarios in the world to eavesdrop on, why did you pick an interpretation of Revelations role play? Why not something simpler, like Alice in Wonderland? Or even more basic, like the lives of amoebas? Revelations just too ridiculously complex because it’s based on someone’s long complicated conversation with someone else about something deeply personal.

Why not try chess? Chess is a good starter. Or just having a conversation about something more than what Britney did to her hair or what could have pushed Anna Nicole Smith so far. Or maybe you should talk about that, because they have their own deep stories that no one’s scratched the surface of yet. Or maybe just work your ways through how fear has taken you certain places. Or ask why there are some things you don’t want to understand. Because right now you’ve been polarized for four years, doesn’t it suck! That is such a sucky feeling.

You dudes need serious aftercare man.

From Wikipedia:

In the context of the sexual practice of BDSM, aftercare is the process of attending to an s-type (submissive, slave, bottom, etc) after intense activities of a physical, and/or psychological nature relating to BDSM activities. Aftercare goes above and beyond any possible necessity to treat and/or clean wounds (contusions, abrasions, punctures, lacerations, etc) from bloodplay or other BDSM practices[citation needed]. Though of course these necessities mustn’t be overlooked.

After an intense “session”, an s-type may be incapable of, or have real difficulty, moving without assistance, or communicating their needs clearly, thus requiring another to provide for her/his care (blanket, hydration, cleanup, food, rest, etc)[citation needed]. These experiences can be (and usually are) exhausting, depleting the s-type’s internal resources (physical, mental, and/or emotional). As a result, frequently the s-type requires emotional support, comfort, reassurances, and/or physical tenderness. Along with this, he/she may experience everything from an exhilaration to traumatization (though every effort should be made to avoid the latter result, not “crossing the line” from sensory stress to actual damage and/or lingering unwanted effects to the s-type). It also includes a review or “debriefing” of the activities from experiences of both the D-type (Dominant, Master, Top, etc) and the s-type. How soon this should occur, after such a “session”, will vary, but should not be ignored, or omitted.

Submissives may report needing to be left alone or other means of processing the experience. While the desire to be left alone could stem from just needing rest, it could also result from she/he no longer feeling safe in the current environment/situation. The person in control of the event should always consider the wisdom of leaving alone a person in any state of exhaustion.

What is a safeword?

Oh no, I really do have to teach you SM manners.

A commonly ignored safeword here on earth is “No.” No means no, it’s really simple. For some reason this one syllable utterance is completely misunderstood even by people who already agreed to it’s parametres.

If you play with power then “no” gets more complicated because you say it with different degrees, but if you never told each other the safeword you start fucking up.

A bottom has a safeword AND a top has a safeword, because either party can tell when a scene starts going bad. 911 and Omega are two people’s particular safewords, and they haven’t been respected at all. And they should because they’re the stop this fucking scene right now safewords. In fact, for some reason there is a class of people for whom safewords have been completely revoked. I don’t know why, it’s a pretty dangerous way to play for anybody.

When a scene goes bad and someone keeps pushing past the safeword, you end up with a highly dangerous bottom. That’s so irresponsible. And you can end up with a dangerous top if for some reason they don’t hear someone saying the safeword. But this is something amateurs don’t get, because they don’t even understand the basic premise of no means no, the rule from which all safewords deride.

I started calling safeword four years ago but no one believed me..

A place called home

One Line – PJ Harvey

Brian Eno / David Byrne

Mea Culpa

America is waiting

Privacy

I have had little to no privacy my entire life. It is so frustrating, I’ll be doing something really weird and then someone walks in and I’m just like “Oh, I’m being weird, leave me alone.” But no one did want to leave me alone because they realized I was really weird. And then when I started falling in love I got REALLY weird, because I was like thinking of all kinds of cosmic possibilities and other people would just not get it at all. So frustrating. And especially if you happen to be a sexual minority who keeps getting spied on. Fucking hell, why do you want to know what I do in bed? What’s it to you? Isn’t the fact that I can love someone that much worth anything anymore?

So annoying. Man you guys are pervs, why do you want to know how I have sex? It’s not like many of you know how to actually apply that to real life, oh man! No one ever taught anyone any SM manners. What the hell. Now I hear topping from the bottom is frowned upon, well fucking hell, what if your top is an incompetent bloody mess who is getting everything wrong. Honestly! You can’t play with power if you’re not in love, it just looks stupid! I have met the dumbest tops in my life, so ridiculously clueless they shouldn’t even have been allowed to hold a banana peel. And then they’re always like “Oh, you’re not really a bottom.” No, I’m not an idiot is my point. You can’t skip grades! You just look like an asshole.

I’m happiest when people leave me alone; other wise, obviously, I start forming plans for world domination. When gifted teenagers tell you something like that you have to take it seriously!! It really doesn’t matter how old someone is. Everyone has a right to privacy. You don’t know why they need to be alone, maybe it isn’t because they feel fucked up, maybe it’s because everyone is fucked up towards them. And maybe I have also raised an entire generation completely conscious of hatred and bigotry.

And yet at the same time it didn’t feel that massive, I was just really into this ultra hard chess match with someone that was driving me crazy.

PJ Harvey – Big Exit

New theorem

You know, there’s a certain code built into the entire universe, it just repeats over and over and it tells the same story because people always follow it literally. And it’s just this prearranged highly cryptic code built into the whole of humanity that wants the same story told until someone figures out what it means.

Art is important to society because it was one of the most advanced codes ever designed. It integrated writing and visuals and science and emotions and the human condition. But if you don’t value emotions, you can’t possibly ever hack the code. So anti war movies become war propaganda, etc etc. But to get around that, you spend your life learning two codes, so that even negative stuff gets sorted. You can’t possibly look away from it.

Let’s pretend there really are immortal beings that come to earth from time to time. What if someone walked in on them in a private moment and leapt to drastic conclusions. And some really horrible shit went down.

Let’s further postulate that two immortals fell in love and were perfectly fine together until someone noticed something really personal. Someone was eavesdropping. And it kicked off a whole hysteria and a code fell into place automatically that was just this really far off I love you.

But these particular immortals learned to consciously reincarnate over and over and over trying to break the code to each other, because it really was so ridiculously encrypted. And they didn’t really know what each other was doing, so they had to prove to each other that they could decrypt the code. And one decided to decrypt the code by constantly tying themselves in with a crucial historical time period and then deliberately activating their own omega code. Because really how far would you go for love?

And lets say they started talking to each other in dreams because that was the only time they could actually say what they were thinking? Because it was so weird, the thoughts of two conscious immortals in love trying to get back together. I mean, especially if one has stopped showing their artistic side and the other stopped showing their scientific side.

But then one just kept fucking DYING! I mean, how irritating would that be! Quit fucking dying, it’s stupid. But mostly that’s because they had no way of explaining the entire story with only one person. And even if they did, it wouldn’t make any sense at all because it was so highly encrypted in a world valuing specialists.

A friend of mine told me to tell people where the evacuation ships are. I guess I just did.