Big Emergency 2010

Luke had a BIG EMERGENCY this January. He had been off of his medications since November and shortly after his mother left town after the holidays he ended up stabbing himself and being rushed to the hospital after police wrestled the knife away from him. He stabbed his body and his eyes. BOTH of them.

So it’s been a few weeks of him being at RUH in the observation unit and THEN he has recently moved to another hospital which has a psych ward. He looked pretty sad when I first saw him, he was pretty out of it with being not-sane AND being on heavy duty pain meds and tranks, not to mention the damage to his body. But today I saw him and he’s doing way better, he gets better everyday. He’s making more sense now, although he doesn’t like to leave his room much. I think he is mostly frustrated that he can’t see.

Luke can’t see. He is blind. It’s pretty friggin intense and I feel for him. His eyes are looking better than they were, the scarring isn’t that bad, but it looks pretty rough still. He’s going to need some cosmetic surgery on some of his scars and some rehabilitation to deal with whatever sight he has left and his ability to get around. I am hoping he at least can see some light and shadows, because that’s what my friend Preston can see and he is fairly independent, him and his cane.

One time Preston, Deanna, and I were having a conversation about caning and SM and he suddenly said “I have a cane” “Really> Let’s see it!” He of course pulled out his cane he uses to walk with. We had a good laugh.

Soon Luke will be moved, along with all the other psych inpatients in Saskatoon, to the Irene and Leslie Dube Centre for Mental Health. Which is right where my old psych ward, Hantelman, was. I am going to the Irene and Leslie Dube Centre for Mental Health on Wednesday during their open house to see the new facilities. When I was an inpatient back in 2007 I only saw blueprints for the new ward. I remember it was shaped kind of like a big gun. My main concern is that there be individual rooms, not the gawdawful double occupancy rooms of yesteryear, that keep you from being able to jack off. Yeah yeah there’s a curtain but I still make noises, and it is embarrassing when you are someone like me who takes an average of 20 minute to come!

And masturbation is important to people’s mental health. Everyone except for people trapped in sex rehab, where it is banned! Poor Tiger. I think masturbation is important for daily release of stress, I am appalled by all situations where people can’t masturbate because of their living quarters. It’s really sex negative.

Okay, back to the main topic, no more digressions on transgressions and their emissions!

Anyway, they say the new building is beautiful, and it also has a lovely view of the river. NONE OF WHICH LUKE WILL BE APPRECIATIVE OF NOT BEING ABLE TO SEE!!! But hopefully they have some good activities he can engage in, I was told they had a hot tub but no one took me down there when I was an inpatient.

I remember the ward for really dangerous\super crazy people was downstairs, and when I went down there to get weighed this white girl hissed at me “You don’t know what traditional is!!!” Which I found kind of intimidating, for various reasons. Mostly that it’s a charge often leveled at indigenous people by other indigenous people who feel indigenousier than thou. Also that it was a white girl telling me this.

Later I met her on the grounds having a smoke, and she told me she got messages off of her vision box. I didn’t know if she meant television, but I didn’t want to inquire.

Ah, the messages, and herein lies the rub. Many messages get relayed to one during a period of “craziness,” and some, believe it or not, are actually very positive and irrevocably change humanity for the better. Other messages are not so good, case in point, poor Luke. I don’t think he even knows why he did it, and I sure as hell don’t know. I can surmise that it had something to do with what he was seeing and didn’t want to see. But I really don’t know. And we really don’t know how much of his vision he will get back.

He says today he was yelled at by some guy in the movie room for complaining that he couldn’t see what was going on. He told us when he gets his sight back he is going to find that guy and challenge him to a fight. Oh Luke.