Some funny for you.

Cause the tent’s so big in your pants baby . . .

I love Peaches. She rocks out! Tonight is my meditation circle with Barb Powell. I’m pretty stoked about it. I’m going to learn about using tools to meditate with. It should be enlightening.

I like doing things to contribute to my personal growth. And I think meditation is very good for bipolar people. I know, none of this has any relation to the Peaches video. You’re disappointed, I can tell.

Once I did this amazing candle meditation where my empathy expanded to include creatures all around the world. And I could feel myself as a whale swimming in the ocean, and then an ant walking along the edge of a leaf. When I went really manic there was one point when my empathy expanded again to include all kinds of animals, and I had a really hard time eating meat.

Actually I’m having a hard time eating meat sometimes. It’s been difficult. I don’t know what that’s about. I like meat, I just don’t know, if I had to kill it myself I might not be able to.

I read recently about a man in Austria who kept his daughter locked in the basement for over 20 years and fathered seven of her children. Pretty horrid! How can something like that happen? Some people. I wonder what his sentence will be. And three of them never saw the light of day. Ugh!

My dog had a bad night, poor baby. I came home later than I’d hoped, and he was all excited to see me, jumping up and whinging away, and then about half an hour later he started throwing up, and didn’t stop for an hour. and he started crying too, poor little guy. Anyway, he’s MUCH better this morning and we went for our little walk and stuff. But now there’s still puddles of dog puke I have to clean up. He puked so much eventually he was just puking foam. Poor dude. Thats a gross story for you.

I like living in this coop, and I’m starting to get used to taking the long bus. It’s actually only about half an hour to get downtown, which isn’t bad.

My cuz who had the manic episode is Captain Sleepypants. She crashed at my party around nine thirty and slept until noon the next day. When I went to visit her she was also very sleepy. I guess it’s a combination of recovering from mania and getting used to the medication. Which reminds me, I have to pick up my meds today.

Today is my thirtieth birthday. The main things I have to do are clean up a bit, make pot brownies, and await my guests. It’s a classy meal of pizza after hot dogs and hamburgers were stricken from the menu when we couldn’t move the barbecue over to my place. So pizza it is.

I don’t know who will show up. It might just be a small crowd, but that would be nice too. I think the pot brownies in lieu of a birthday cake is a pretty good idea, but we’ll see. Also I’ve been sick and it’s no good me trying to smoke it, because all it does is make me cough and cough. BLEH!

My mother is also sick. I’m over at her house right now waiting for her to finish her nap. She’s supposed to take me out for a few things. And I want to get home and get started on those brownies. Making them I mean. I doubt it will take very long. The most involved part is extracting the THC, but I think it should go tickety boo. I’ve never made pot brownies before, so this is all new for me. I don’t think I’ve even ever had a pot brownie. I’ve had pot cookies, and other kinds of pot things. I had a drink once that made me hallucinate, I don’t know what was in it. But it sure was good.

So I didn’t have crepes for breakfast, which kinda sucked, but oh well. No mimosas either. I guess I should get makings for mimosas. It’s hard planning your own thirtieth birthday party.

I feel, well, I’m finally thirty. I didn’t really think I would make it this far. I outlived Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, and Kurt Cobain! And yet I haven’t nearly achieved as much fame. Oh well, something to look forward to in my thirties. I was so sure I’d be dead by now. And I’m not! And to celebrate, we’re having Alice B Toklas Brownies! From Duncan Hines.

I’m trying an oil based recipe, it’s supposed to be easier than extracting from butter. BUTTERS! That’s my favorite character on South Park. My socks are even matching today, that’s how mature I am at 30.

Although 30 is supposedly the new 20. Which means, I’m 20 today! What! NO! I will not go through my 20’s ever again! Once was enough!

I’ve been sick the past few days with a cold. It’s not NASTY or anything, but it’s no picnic either. I have been coughing and sniffling for ages it seems. It’s slowly going away, but I’ve still got this heavy feeling. And with my birthday only days away! 2 days till my party! I feel like a slug. I should clean up but
+maybelater
My dog is resting his snout on the keyboard.

I hate being sick. Poo!++++++ ++Uh +oh++++
+
++++
Wel++l++ +h+++th+++i+th++is arangement is n+t working,+ dog!

Okay, I think he stopped.

I’m going to bed, what am I doing tryingto write a blog in this condition!

The weather here has decided it is still winter, it’s weird. It’s snowing outside as I type this. Just when I got a nice apartment with a huge balcony! I had to bring two plants inside.

Mum and I have been toodling around getting nesting materials for my new home. I GOT A SET OF HULA GIRL PATIO LANTERNS> fuck1 I have a problem with my computer, in that sometimes it decides certain things need all caps.Anyway, I hate this snow and stuff. It’s driving me crazy.

Sleeping here is good, it’s a quiet building. I really like that about it. I’ve moved my birthday party to here. It’s coming up on Saturday! Saturday I’m going to be 30!

So I’ve been trying not to let the snow get to me, but now I also have a cold to go along with it. I could feel it building up all day, and now it’s hit. Bleh! I hate being sick. If only I had some cold killing meds. Pooh!

I had one year when I used to get sick all the time, every cold that came by I would get. My immune system must have been shot!

Well, I’ve been happily moved into my new apartment. I’ve been busy getting all hooked up, and spending a lot of time here. This is a place I will stay in for years and years. I hope. I think I’m done tromping around the country. And it’s a really nice apartment, there’s so much room! I’m still amazed at that. It really is a home. It’s way nicer than my old place. I’ve been running around unpacking and generally getting the place in order. Cleaning. Finally my dog has calmed down enough and is just napping on the chair. The animals have had a rough time settling in. Sometimes Schrodinger wanders around crying. Poor kitty cat!

I am really liking living here. So far I’ve had three visitors come see me. It’s a nice space for hanging out and feeling groovy. And creative. There’s nice energy in here. I got plants the other day, some ivy, some gerbera daisies, some thing called a Ponytail. It’s funky looking.

It’s kind of weird finally being here because I’m probably going to stay here for a very long time. I can’t envision losing this place, it’s so cheap for what I get. 530 a month for a decently sized apartment!

I’d never get this kind of place if I lived in Vancouver. I’d never be able to afford this place either if it wasn’t a co-op.

Co-op living!

In 45 minutes my mom is picking me up to have dinner with the grandparents. I think I’ll bring Mister. He’s looking depressed, sitting on the chair.
There, I just took him for a walk. He’s perked up. Poor little dude.

So the mover fucked up his back and they couldn’t move me today. Tomorrow at 10 they’ll finally load up all my stuff and take it to the new place. Of course the bed is taken apart and so I have to sleep at Mum’s.

I went and saw the new apartment, it’s very cute and exciting! There’s a small kitchen and a dining room and a big living room and a largish bedroom. And a storage room, which is really a ROOM. I think the animals will be very happy there. In the storage room. No, they get the run of the whole apartment. Schrodinger will be an apartment cat again, he’ll be so grumpy. And it’s not too far to get Mister out and onto some grass to have a poop.

We’re going out to get him some new squeaky toys and stuff to say Hello to the new apartment with.

I met my neighbor already, which was nice. They only do things like that on Wisteria Lane!

Yesterday I got myself a housewarming present of an elephant teapot with an elephant sugar bowl. Today mum picked me up a kit-cat clock. It’s really cute! It’s eyes go back and forth along with it’s tail. And they’re pricey! I think. Oh anyway, it’s really funny.

It goes nicely with my lime green dachshund lamp.

I’m so excited about my new house, it’s hard to sleep thinking about tomorrow and how I will finally be in my new place. With my animals! I went crazy at Petsmart buying them toys. I got Mister a new seatbelt, since he outgrew his old one and I think he’s coming traveling with us this summer, so he’ll need one. Without a seatbelt he just gets wiggly all over the car and it’s not good. I also got them a new water bowl. Schrodinger got some new toys too, and some catnip.

Soon I will be living with a dog and cat to look after all by myself! It’s kind of a lot of responsibility. I hope I’m a good mother. And Mister will need to go outside a lot. I’m glad they have each other, they won’t get lonely. No only child problem here! Anyway, I have to get up early to get a mcmuffin and move my stuff, finally finally! So goodbye!

Today I’ve done so much already and I have MORE TO DO! I’m packing up all my belongings to move into the new place, and it’s a pain in the arse. at least now I have all of my camera together. My mother was helping me a lot, which was really nice of her because she has far better organizational skills than I. Maybe I am saying goodbye to my computer before it’s gone for good. Oh so sad! Little computer! Not gone for good, gone for 18 hours. So long! No internet for me.

The good news is I am getting cable! No more facebook stalking for me! Now I can watch Britney Spears news! I wonder what meds she’s on. I like the ones I’m on actually. Anyway, yes, cable television. I’m thirty and I’m finally getting cable. Now I can watch whatever is on television these days.

Desperate Housewives!

I can rekindle my crush on Marcia Cross and watch agog every week. She is pretty hot, and I think I still have pictures of her in her underwear somewhere around here.

Well, it’s officially time to take apart my computer desk and eee, so wobbly it is! I bought myself a housewarming present, it’s a white elephant teapot, with an elephant sugar bowl. I hope it works well, teapots can be tempemental.

Anyway, that’s the end, until my move is finished.

Do you remember the Nothing in the Neverending Story? That was so scary. I feel like that sometimes when I’m depressed, like there’s a great big NOTHING gobbling up all the joy.

I’m relatively happy today. I had a good time with my mom at her house after she helped me clean and pack. Then it was nice and warm and sunny and I spent time with the dogs on my mum’s porch. And I read about the pregnant man, which was interesting, I know someone with the same situation though. And I’ve heard of other transmen being pregnant, I wonder why this one hit the mainstream media.

It was a beautiful day. I think when all my moving is done I should help mom clean her porch so we can eat out there. I have four weed seeds sitting on my desk. I wonder if mom saw them.

Last summer, a marijuana plant grew uninvited in her back garden. One day she said to me “What, is THIS!?” and waved around a small smelly green weed. Well, it really was weed. And how it got there nobody knows. Although it probably fell out when someone was rolling a joint.

Pot has been around forever. So have tattoos.

So I took the bus all the way to my mom’s house only to find she locked me out! So no making phone calls. I should have just brought those numbers home with me, to be perfectly sensible. But I’m NOT sensible!

So then I took the bus home. And now I’ve smoked a joint and am thinking about cleaning. Thinking, mind you. The cleaning part probably wouldn’t be so much work if I would just get to it instead of wasting time thinking about doing it and what needs to be done. Blah to cleaning!

So I won’t think about it, I will write here instead.

I’m listening to Bjork’s Hyperballad. It’s so sweet. Reminds me of being a teenager.

A confused horny teenager.

I kind of miss how horny I used to be. But maybe that was really my manic side. Oh man! I can recall mildly manic episodes in high school, but I guess I just thought it was hormones. Either way, being manic can bring on the hornies. Look at Britney Spears, when she couldn’t find Adnan, she took home some other paparazzi! She’s in bed with the paparazzi, that’s like, the lowest you can go! All because of manic hornies.

I feel ridiculously LEVEL. Just totally even. I haven’t felt like this in maybe ever. I guess the medication really does work.

I had this friend in high school who used to constantly tell me “It’s not LOGICAL!” I just spent ten minutes reading the definition of an non sequitur and my head is spinning. Logic is funny. It’s like, just be sensible man! But I am NOT sensible.

Are UFO’s logical? I kind of think so. Space is so big and people somewhere probably came up with a way of traversing the universe. We’ve only had a space program for a relatively few years in the grand scheme of things. Plus I’ve seen them, with my naked eyeballs! Not more than a mile away!

I can’t remember what we argued about when she told me to be more logical. That was so long ago, I only remember the admonition.

I wish mania was more logical. I mean, it’s all based in signs and symbols and synchronicities. it doesn’t make any sense at all, and it just jumps around from thing to thing.

Blah to Mania!

It seems I am selling work to the National Gallery in Ottawa. Pretty cool! I hope if they screen a bunch of it I get to go out there, I could hang with my friend Ariel. I don’t really know anyone else who lives in Ottawa. I know people who go there a lot.