Save Us Nancy Pelosi, you’re our only hope!

My butt still hurts, I’m going to the doctor in an hour. I might try and get some heavy duty painkillers out of her like Percocet or Vicodin or even Oxycontin.

I was trying to think of an appropriate youtube video to celebrate the Democratic win of the US House and Senate. All I could come up with was Judy Garland. Yep, sometimes my inner fag is really fuckin’ flamey.

One of the things I find so fascinating about Judy Garland was all the corruption going on behind the scenes of the Wizard of Oz. Not only did they get her addicted to amphetamines, but they also had some older woman seduce her to keep her occupied. OMG!!!

And Toto died THREE TIMES during the filming.

Oh right, I don’t think I’ve mentioned this on here. I quit smoking on Saturday. I’ve been too caught up in my bum to worry about the smoking, but I think it’s going pretty good. My cough is going away, I can smell things again. I can probably taste things really well too. And I got my teeth cleaned prior to quitting and I had no cavities. So I’m pretty happy about all of that. PLUS there is always this theory that I’ve had regarding the conspicuous absence of girlfriends during my smoking phase, I’m curious if now that I’ve quit my appeal will go up again. I’m happy to not be smoking anymore. I don’t even think of it too often, well, not with this pain in the ass I have!! Plus it is getting too cold to smoke outside anymore.

I’m seriously considering getting a Violet Wand with some of my artist fee, and a tattoo in the shape of the Biohazard symbol on the back of my neck. Hmm, very curious.

If Bush and Cheney are impeached Pelosi will be president. Imagine that.

And why the fuck isn’t Bush getting impeached? They sure were all gung ho about impeaching Clinton for a consensual blow job.

Whatev. Gotta get ready with my laundry list of complaints for my doctor’s appointment.

Holy Crap

The Democrats took the house and senate and Rumsfeld is resigning. HOLY FUCK!!! Are we allowed to sing Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead yet? I didn’t watch any coverage because I was confined to bed by my broken butt, but this morning I’ve been checking out the new USA. I am so curious what’s going to happen. I mean before when it looked like Republicans were going to rule the world I just kind of gave up. I mean, we’re all going to die kind of thing. But now I actually feel hopeful about the future of the world.

HOLY SHIT!!!

I just got an artist payment from Video Pool in the amount of, erm, a huge amount. Holy crapola!!! Nearly one grand, go Video Pool!!

FUCK!
My butt still hurts, I freakin’ hate it. Broken Tailbones are no fun, blerg. It’s like that OWWWW!! I mean to say, it sounds like the name of a punk band. Or a bar, The Broken Assbone. I hate freezing rain. And I can’t go spend my money on silly things until my bum is better. The sadness.

Essentially it is a good day. Hope is a nice thing to feel. And having money is a good thing too. OMG! I can get Metrosexuality and the Trannyfags porno!!! WOOOOOO!

Off to celebrate Democrat win by online shopping!!

I fucking Hate Saskatchewan!!!!

If there is a good movie ever made, it will only get two nights screen time in Saskatoon (Paradise Now). HOWEVER if there is some really abysmal piece of celluloid shit on offer, it will be guaranteed a six month run (John Tucker Must Die is STILL playing!).

I have noticed this alarming trend since returning “home.” I use “home” in quotations because while my family is here this isn’t really my home at all and I know it. My home would have better movie goers, and more intelligent audiences.

So Death of a President was playing here. AND I knew it probably would have a week screentime, MAX!!! I asked people to go see it with me. I pleaded. I linked to previews of it. Nothing. Someone even suggested it would be american propaganda (yeah, cause assasinating a sitting president is always propaganda.) Fuck. So the upshot is, I fucking missed Death of a President.

Which means I am back to doing what I had to do when I was a teenager living in this buttfuck province of cinematic trogolodytes, I will have to go see movies by myself. Fuck all y’all, if you’re not going to see a movie with me I am seeing it by myself, and I refuse to spend any more money on those goddamn idiotic movies you all seem to prefer. So far I’ve missed Paradise Now, Death of a President, Idlewild, and I can’t even think of how many more. And don’t even fucking ask me to go see a movie with you if you aren’t a regular viewer of independent or foreign films. And don’t take me to a video store to pick out a movie with you either because I know you’ll pick out something crap and than wax romantic on how amazing it was.

I don’t think it will be any different when I make movies. I bet I will have only one screening in Saskatoon, and even then most of the people I know won’t come because they’ll be queing up for the latest Johnny Depp flick. FUCK YOU SASKATCHEWAN!!!!

If only Canada had no dumbass neighbor

Smoking up with my Cuz down in Regina this week we mused on what Canada would be like if we didn’t live next to the states. We agreed we would probably be a lot like the Netherlands. Marijuana and some other drugs would be decriminalized, we would have official red light districts, more and more safe injection sites, in essence we would just be a lot cooler. I think we really as a nation do want to be like that, except we live next to a world superpower who overreaches it’s values and laws into other countries.

I read a recent poll of Britons, Mexicans, and Canadians who overwhelmingly agreed that Bush was more of a threat to world peace than Korea’s nukes.

So tomorrow are the midterms. I’m not sure how I feel about them yet. On one hand I’m tempted to say “Yay! They have a chance to get rid of him!” On the other hand, I don’t think they do. Not that the majority won’t vote democratic, it’s just becoming more and more obvious that their votes no longer matter. They don’t live in a democracy anymore, it’s a faux democracy, but really if they’re not already living in a dictatorship (which I think they are) then at least they’re living in an oligarchy. If they get another Republican House and Senate, what are they going to do? Are they going to overthrow the government? The government already has sweeping powers against it’s citizens, there’s not much they can do. They’d be declared enemy combatants, the National Guard would be called out. My god, they aleady need clearance from the Department of Homeland Security to even take a plane outside of the States (but you probably didn’t get that little memo).

The world could step in and do a major military intervention in the US and sponsor some bloody coups. But I dunno, I kind of think we should just all step back and let the Americans work this one out on their own. It’s not like they have much longer to be a super power anyway, Bush is already draining hundreds of billions of dollars away on an unwinnable war. Their carelessness about global warming might result in the desertification of most of America and thus a third world status. We’re already well into the throes of a global pandemic and still people say “They say the next thing that will happen is a pandemic.” Hello? It already kicked off in the 80’s dudes.

It’s been interesting to watch all of this coverage though. For the first time in history the New York Post will not recommend ANY republican candidates. A conservative magazine founded by Pat Buchanan recently slammed the Republicans and advised readers to vote Democratic just so that America doesn’t go down in history as supporting this war. Even tv ads for Republicans try and omit Bush to distance themselves from him.

It’s both promising yet, I dunno. The sweeping legislative changes made over the last six years have set America up for losing it’s democratic rights and freedoms forever.

Okay, maybe I’m just a sad bunny.

My cuz recently said to me that we don’t know what’s going to happen on 2012 because we’re moving into a different world and are currently between worlds and our future is yet to be determined. I kind of think this is one of those things that could determine the future. Let’s say the election is stolen, again. At least there are still all those people who don’t want the Republicans, all those people who are getting active, and maybe they will push for an even more revolutionary change than we have thought of yet. Maybe they’ll completely change the way their government operates? Maybe there will be no government? I don’t know.

Or maybe those freak ass lights will cover the sky and do something either very good or very bad. Who can say?

Help me Jebus!

Oh man, so the deadline for Berlin is today and I rush rushed home to do my application, only to find all the doors locked, and me with no key. I’m still shivering. I was stuck outside for about an hour and a half at minus 9 degrees. I’m STILL shivering an hour later. It’s was kind of farcical I guess, I felt like the little match girl. And I kept thinking, what an ignoble death. To die in a garage because of an application deadline. Wow, deadline, that is creepy. I was reduced to using my dictaphone to describe objets in the garage. A skidoo. Skis. A plank of wood. Lawnmower and other gardening accoutrements. Plastic dinosaurs. Some kind of toilet helper for people with limited mobility.

Fuck, I’m still cold. I think I should go take a hot shower, right now.

Anyway, I did get my application in, but I don’t know if I squeaked just under the deadline or not. And I’m not sure if they take time zone changes into consideration since it’s an online application. Either way, I finally have a very sexy more polished version of my screenplay, so it will be easier to submit to labs. And I finally have something I can show to potential producers, which is good, I want to find one in time for the march deadline at Telefilm.

Jebus, my hands are cold. And I used a message attached to the door in pudding in case my mum came through the front instead of the garage. She was quite grossed out when she saw it. And I was quite sad for wasting that much Kozy Shack rice pudding.

Suffer fools gladly

I can’t suffer fools gladly. I try, but they’re just so dumb and annoying and they work really hard to keep it that way. I don’t know how many times people have accused me of lying to them when I pretty much never lie, especially about fabulous adventures and history and so forth. Yet apparently I am a liar. The funniest one was when I mentioned off hand that tomatoes come from the new world and some white boy had a huge wobbly and nearly screamed that it wasn’t true. I don’t know why he had invested so much into the idea that tomatoes were a european fruit native to Italy. I mean, how bizarre can you get. Once I told someone else that when I was in Schipol airport the security had machine guns. Once again “That’s not true!” I don’t think he had ever been to Schipol, but apparently he knew about airport security there. I’ve also noticed a disturbing trend that it’s primarily white people who accuse me of lying. Hey man, it’s just what I’ve noticed. I have nothing against white people. I have some good friends who are white.

I think the saddest thing about these people, besides the fact that they trample interesting conversational topics, is that you know they are willfully ignorant. They will live and die knowing and understanding only a minute fraction of the world. Anyone who might broaden their world view just gets shut down. I’m not sure why. I pretty much just stop talking when one of those people are around. I can’t help it if I’ve had a fabulous and interesting life. And then people are like “Why doesn’t Thirza talk? She’s so shy.” I don’t think I’m really shy, I just don’t suffer fools gladly and I’m tired of opening my mouth and being called a liar.

Well anyway. No UFO’s last night but I did hear someone once saw aliens out there.

My dog is a genius. Maybe I’ve already mentioned this. I’m sure he understands english. He loves Cheezies, like insanely. And he knows what a Cheezie bag looks like. If he sees one in my bag he carefully secrets it out and runs away to eat it. Not only that, but yesterday morning he went into my pockets, pulled out a ten dollar bill, and gave it to my mother. I don’t know why he’s stealing money from me now, and even more baffling is why he’s giving it to my mom. I suspect they are in cahoots.

Last night just before the wave of trick or treaters came out Mom accidentally let Schrodinger outside. We never let our kittens out on Halloween, it’s just a rule. So I spent twenty minutes in the back yard trying to catch him and I kept telling Mister to flush Schrodinger out, and he did!

And I started running out of candy for the trick or treaters. I was down to giving out either cigarettes or instant coffee. We didn’t even have dried apricots. Luckily I went out before the candy was all gone. Someone was giving out cans of beer last year.

Military reports are saying Iraq is swiftly heading into “Chaos” and civil war. People are committing genocide (besides the Americans) and I’m thinking they might end up having a rapid withdrawal like the end of Viet Nam. Officially they won’t say it, but they lost the war in Afghanistan. Now we’re in there (bleh) and the Russians are warning us that it’s an unwinnable war. To them it was their Viet Nam.

There are nude photos of Marcia Cross showering and yes, the carpet matches the curtains. Oh man. Mum and I argued about if I was a celebrity would I want nude photos of myself out there. I’m probably the worst person to ask because I have nudey videos everywhere, including a friend’s tape who videoed my asshole. I told her you could see Marcia’s boobs in Female Perversions, so I didn’t see why it was a big deal. But I guess people feel less nervous about showing boobage than bush.

Someone in the states was arrested for having an Osama Bin Laden halloween costume. What is this world coming to? I highly doubt people would think an Osama Bin Laden costume was really him. He’s been charged with Criminal Threatening. Incidentally he was also the dude who leaked Bush’s drunk driving record.

I’m hoping to see Death of a President this week. It’s been interesting just watching the preview. I know I bitch bitterly about him, but I don’t want to see him killed, just brought to justice. Seeing his digitally manipulated face in fear is kind of awful, and mostly just because he’s a fellow human and I don’t want to see anyone be so afraid.

Anyway, gotta dash, I need to write some shit quick quick like a bunny.

This is sorta what it looked like

This “Plasma Mothership” is somewhat similar to what we saw, only it wasn’t a defined shape and there were two circling eachother.

Also it changed colour somewhat similar to what this one is doing.

We’re going out tonight, my friend’s really tired so I hope she perks up by the time we go out. I also have to do some scripty things before this deadline coming up.

Still jumpy as all hell

If Laurel hadn’t been with me I would have seriously thought I was going crazy. And I still think about it and it totally fuckin’ boggles me. Eee, I’m getting shivers! Sometimes I still can’t even believe I saw what I saw. I’m just like, nah, never happened, that could never happen!! But it did.

And then I found out someone else in my family saw the same thing over 8th street. What the hell is going on in Saskatoon?

It’s so weird, the most supernatural things happen in Saskatchewan, more than any other place I’ve lived.

The weird part is, I wish I’d watched it for longer.

My friend and I are driving out there again on Halloween night after 9 to see if it shows up. Or if it left any visitors behind. Eeeeek! God, it still scares the bejeezus out of me. I don’t know how the hell I’m going to survive our deeply troubled and unprofessional UFO hunt.

I just read the greatest description of these, which so far sounds like the most rational label. “Electrical Plasma Lifeforms.” I have a hard time believing it was a rock solid spaceship, just because of the bizarre way it manifested and then transformed over hours. Anyway, I’m HOPING to buy a camera tomorrow and go out and shoot whatever may happen. I found the cutest little digital camera that will probably work, and takes video too, so hmm. We’ll see. It’s about time I got a freakin’ digital camera anyway, since I am reduced to the photobooth in malls for self portraits. So sad, to have all your pictures be from a photobooth.

Aside from that DRAMA, I just got the graphic novel of V for Vendetta. I wonder if it will make me reminisce life with Maggie Thatcher and Ronald Regan. Oh the times we had, the hilarity. Seriously dudes, whenever anyone waxes nostalgic about the eighties and new wave and big hair, I’m like fuck, did you miss the eighties? It was all cold war and state oppression. Even Canada sucked, and that’s saying something. What I find interesting is that a decade later this story is still a completely relevant allegory.

Wud else? I’m going to quit smoking. I chain smoked during the Sighting and it fucked my throat up. Plus I have a persistent cough.

I am getting my teeth cleaned on Thursday.

Okay, I’ve failed you all! I was going to post a continuous source of fear and supernatural mayham until I got wrapped up in Republicans and Electrical Plasma Lifeforms. Well, when we go out UFO hunting tomorrow I will be armed with a camera. And if I get pictures, they will be posted on November 1. Other than that, we’re also going out on the long weekend looking, so we’ll see if something turns up. God, my hands are fucking sweating just thinking about going out TWO MORE TIMES!!

“What the fuck is that?!” UFO Sighting Oct 28 -10pm -1am

Laurel and I didn’t have a Halloween party to go to last night, so we decided to drive out to Cranberry Flats to sit in the parking lot and tell ghost stories. We turned south towards the flats when I saw two very dark objects speed over us. I ignored them, thought they were birds (maybe they were). Then I started noticing streams of light going over the road, at first they looked like falling stars and kept going from left to right. Then they starting sort of going back and forth, like two of them swirling, but I rationalized it as the reflection of our headlights against power lines. They also kept changing colour, the ones we noticed were purple, green, orange, blue, yellow, and white. I should also say they started out very thin, and slowly swelled up into the size of ovals. The further we got to Cranberry Flats, the brighter they got, two white ovals slowly circling each other. At this point I was trying to rationalize it as spotlights. Neither Laurel or I were saying anything to each other, I didn’t want to say something in case I was totally hallucinating, and I didn’t mind it if I was hallucinating. Anyway, the further out of town we get the brighter it is. Total silence, we miss the turn off to Cranberry Flats and she pulls into a side road to turn around to go back to the Flats. At this point I notice that the lights hovering and swirling in the sky are staying in one place. I think at this point I said to Laurel “What are those?”

“You noticed them too.”

We FREAK! We’re fifteen minutes outside of town with thingies in the sky and we have NO friggin idea what they are except UFO’s. And I immediately start worrying about being abducted, and I think so does she because we keep checking the time. We turn around and start driving back into town, neither of us wants to look back. This time back into town I realize: There are no power lines going across the road. They are all along the side of the road. We’re starting to compare notes and realizing we’ve seen exactly the same thing. Both of us are terrified. Then Laurel stops along the roadside to get out and see if they’re still there, and they are, so she freaks out and jumps into the car. We keep driving until the turn off going east, and we look back and they are still there, still glowing white ovals.

We’re finally in town, I’m still freaked out, and we go to Diefenbaker to see if we can see them from there. Sure enough, there’s those two swirling lights.

She drives me home and then after much debate convinces me to go out there with her again. And so I do, but I was terrified and tried to put on a diaper in case I shit myself.

I shit you not.

Anyway, we get back to Diefenbaker and they’ve changed. They’re still swirling, but this time they’re green and acting somewhat like northern lights, just the way you see energy ripple off them. Some other people in the park seemed to be seeing them too.

We drive to a couple other places in the city to see if we can see them from there, nada.

Then we get some binoculars and go back out to look at them. This is about three hours after they first appeared, about 1 in the morning. This time, they’re more like green ovally lights, but they’re moving COMPLETELY differently. Sometimes they swirl, sometimes they flash on and off. Sometimes they just speed past each other. Sometimes they change direction, sometimes they drive bomb, and just as we were driving away I also noticed them leap frogging and chasing each other.

Also twice during our sightings they went from just a glow to a solid light. I should mention it was cloudy so they might have been in the clouds.

So what was it? UFO? Spirits? Some other phenomenon? I’ll be checking to see if anyone else saw them. There was a guy who was flashing his high beams on and off at us on our way out to Cranberry Flats.

Has anyone out there seen or heard about a UFO sighting like this? I really want to know.

And I’m glad I had someone else who saw it with me, because y’all would be calling me a big crazy liar otherwise.